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    • #14804
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Well Ladies like many of you before me he is claiming that I physically abused him. This was after denying that he had ever abused me….. Though I ended at the police station last month report an assault that left me with bruises…. How can they lie so much?

      I am a little down as we will be going to court about finances, we don’t have that much to be wasting with solicitors…

      Now my doctor is writing a report on how my mental health has been affected, I’m sick of washing my dirty linin in public.

      Will he ever stop and leave me in piece?

      FS 🙁

    • #14823
      Inneedofsomepeace
      Participant

      Sending you hugs. Yes mine has also claimed I abused him. They seem to live in some deluded fantasy land don’t they! He has also claimed I am abusing the children, have you had that one yet? Apparently parental alienation is child abuse! Really I would call it protecting them!
      I don’t have any advice I’m afraid on financial matters in court we haven’t has to so that. But wanted you to know, you have my support and I hope it all goes as smoothly as it can ((hugs))

    • #14826
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Thank you Innneedofsomespace for the support xx

      He has alienated from my children and grandchildren its heart breaking but I hope in time they will see him for what he is. I wish I had got away when my children were younger and I could have saved them from the mind games.

      He has taken away everything I loved and cared about.

      FS x

    • #14841

      Oh love, that old chestnut!!

      Must be in their handbook or something…if all else fails, claim she’s the abuser and you’re the innocent victim!

      Try not to let it get to you (easier said than done I know) mine splashed it all over online that I abused him, I was beating him and controlling him apparently…surprisingly alot of people believed him, and still do. All I can say, is don’t pay attention to it. The people who know you, and love you, know the truth. x

    • #14847
      Serenity
      Participant

      Yeah, yeah. Apparently, me begging him to be nice and telling him he was being a bully and being unkind to us, I was ‘verbally abusing’ and ’emasculating’ him.

      What he meant was, he wanted a church mouse as a wife,mine one who would let him behave abominably and still think he was a god.

      Far better to make your wife out to be horrible than just admit you are a control freak/ sexist / chauvinist.

      They always project!

    • #14851
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Mine told everywhere that I abused him. That is what they do. He contradicted himself all the time. Some of his statements were so silly that they were actually funny.
      It is typical for abusers that they present themselves as the victims.

    • #14858
      Escaped not free
      Participant

      My ex also said I’d dominated him and made him live by my rules and had my own way for too long as soon as I walked out. Then he did the apologetic live bombing thing. I’ve done no contact so now he’s just being vindictive through the authorities. I had lost all faith in the police and justice system but in the end, with all the evidence, medical psych reports…very embarrassing and exhausting I sympathise! I luckily had a sherif who saw through it. I can faithfully declare, hand on heart that I did not tell a single lie in my affidavit. He did however, in the most blatant way. I think it annoyed the sheriff because I was also awarded costs…rare apparently in these cases. It’s hell the waiting for court, waiting for what they are gonna say. One piece of advice I would give u is be proactive…gather evidence yourself and be happy with how it’s worded… For instance WA write an account if my interactions with them, the wording of these things is important. In their report it said I moved out of the house, I didn’t, I grabbed a couple of bags and removed my children from a situation I felt was becoming unsafe…they corrected it. Go to ur homeless meeting with the council if that’s what’s at stake…..get them to write in detail what ur options were…I had none but a homeless hostel as I was still paying bills for a five bed house he was living in himself after the police bailed him back to our home! If u attended therapy, get a letter of confirmation. Get anything you can to confirm you have tried everything to get through this. They want it on paper so busy yourself and do it. Irk save the cost of your solicitor doing it too. I don’t know if this helps you but it’s what I did when I lost faith and it helped my situation. X

    • #14860
      Escaped not free
      Participant

      When I got back to the house he also left cards for me to read from “true friends” who would be there for him after the hell I’ve put him through. I’m assuming the hell they refer to is walking away, my parents offering to pay his rent while we sold the house if he moved out, and after three weeks of being followed and chased in cars I eventually reported him to the police, he’d been tracking me through my phone. God knows what he’s said to them but they appear to be expert at being the victim and manipulating people to get what emotional fuel they need. I sound strong and angry now, I’m not I’m desperately missing him, the good side of him and finding the void left unbearable. Its a living hell but I’m told it gets better. X

    • #14876
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Thankyou all so much for the reply’s and support. I hate the idea that others of you have been trough this, but it’s comforting that I’m not alone.

      Yesterday I spent most of it crying but sorting out the letter from my doctors. Also making an appointment to go to the dentist as he querying what I said about the cost of works. It sad it won’t come into the settlement but I had to declare it.

      I don’t sleep at the best of times but its worse than ever.

      If he put all the energy he does to be vile into a business he would have been a millionaire.

    • #14899
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Only good thing is we have woken up and smelt the roses HA.

      I’m sure I’m portrayed as a spoilt, selfish b***h, but I know and apart from my children the people I care about know I’m not.

      FS xx

    • #14907
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      I think making jokes about it keeps us sane. Some time I’m not sure if my lifes a black comedy or a French farce.

      I don’t think mine knows what the truth is. They have lived lies so long they know no better.

      FS xx

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