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    • #43200
      Rainbowcloud
      Participant

      He went off on one (detail removed by moderator) for no reason.
      He came down and tried to smash my phone up threw it across the room twice and stamped on it I don’t know how it’s still working and then out of nowhere he pushed me over luckily the sofa was behind me and I landed on that otherwise I would of fell to the floor he pushed me that hard .
      He’s never touched me before this then he tried to act as if nothing happened and went to get me some food and was being nice but never mentioned what happened it shook me up though .

    • #43203
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      Hey rainbowcloud

      This happened to me. I was pushed on to the bed and called a c**. Every time I got up he would push me on the bed again. Then it was never mentioned again, no apology, nothing. Like it didn’t happen.

      Thing is eventually it got worse and he ended up on trial for assaulting ne. Court believed him! We’d just had a fight apparently.

      I can tell you with no doubt, it’s already started in your situation. It will get worse.

      My advice is leave and don’t look back. He’s been violent, he’s got angry,he’s tried smashing your phone. These are all classic signs of abuse and it will escalate.

      Sorry to say that but you’re on this forum. You already know things are not right. So….please for your own safety and sanity get out.

      Sending hugs x

    • #43204
      Rainbowcloud
      Participant

      So he assaulted you aswell how long did it take after for assault to start?
      I’m not surprised they didn’t believe you how do they get away with this it’s what stop us telling people and reporting it I’ve never done anything and I hide it because I feel like no one will believe me.

    • #43205
      Bubblegum
      Participant

      Many years back My now Ex husband out of the blue while both watching Tv tried strangle me .I managed to push him off me so taken back .The next day he acted as if nothing happened could not remember .Later down line he made the excuse he seen someone that upset him that day .I believed him at the time now looking back he was probably lieing .At time I did not do anything about it .Fast forward Few years his behaviour towards me got worse and again out blue in a public place in front of our youngest son because I ignored him he pinned me up against wall .That time I finally pressed charges .Police put 2 year injunction on him not to come near me x*x

    • #43206
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      I believe you raibowcloud. It was 5 months later when he went berserk and was charged with assaulting me. X

    • #43207
      Rainbowcloud
      Participant

      Yeah like his last outburst was three weeks ago I’m trying to keep track now of the timing of it. He’s a big bloke he could kill me with one hand that’s what scares me cos you just don’t know and now I know he’s putbhis hands on me it was only a push but what if next time it’s a punch .

    • #43208
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hey, after years of verbal and mental abuse my ex turned violent and it very quickly escalated ending up with him convicted. It seems to get worse quickly when they feel they are losing control of you. Also, because they get away with it, they keep pushing the boundaries like they did with the mental abuse to see how far they can go physically. Record any injuries, bruising and tell your GP. Youre going to need this evidence when he gets out of control for the police and courts. Womens aid gave me this advice and without it, the police and courts couldnt have been as effective. Dont minimise his behaviour. Breaking your phone like that is enough to get a restraing order. Its also very intimidating to see that kind of loss of control. They use that threat of violence to control you too.

    • #43209
      Rainbowcloud
      Participant

      I have the recorded him on my phone before that’s more difficult now as he tends to target my phone and grab it which he never used to.
      Just amazes me how he acts normal after and was right nice to me . If programmes come on and a girl is being abused my her partner or hit he sits there berating them saying how awful they are but yet does this kind of thing himself .
      He seems to think I’m sleeping with someone while he is at work during the day.

    • #43211
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hey this all sounds so familiar to me. My ex carried on like nothing had happened and when i tried to talk about his behaviour he got angry and turned it all round on me. If the spotlight is on your behaviour then it is NOT on theirs! As if acting all nice afterwards was ok. They mess with your head. Its called gaslighting. Mine even wrote after he assaulted me through a solicitor saying that if i was nice to him then he would be nice to me! There behaviour is so dysfunctional that you will never work it out so dont waste your energy. Just know that it wont change, it will get worse and you need to make a safe exit plan x

    • #43216
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      Definitely keep a secret log of all this. If you put it on your laptop/computer and make sure the document is password protected.

      Record what leads up to these outbursts, what was said,where you were etc. I’m sure you’ll begin to see a pattern. Doesn’t really matter if there’s no pattern it’s happening.

      Stay safe. Confide in someone you trust.

      I’ve had two abusive men in my life and didn’t realise it was happening until too late. The partners before that were normal men. No hint of violence/abuse in anyway whatsoever.

      These two abusive men were completely different. One quite short but muscles and very strong, the other slim but also very strong. There’s no stopping them when they’re in that state, no matter what their build.

    • #43217
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      And the one that was charged with assaulting me used his strength to do it. He also went for my face having repeatedly told me in the past how he thought my face was beautiful. You don’t attack someone you supposedly love. That’s not love.

    • #43223
      Rainbowcloud
      Participant

      I agree it doesn’t matter how big they are but he’s so big compared to me I know I would never stand a chance.
      I know I need to do something what about next time. Emotional abuse is bad enough but when I’m not thinking about my personal safety am I safe could he blow over and do more it’s not worth the risk. I have no job and not much money if I leave him again it would be the (detail removed by moderator)  time now it’s finding the strength to do it all again :/

    • #43243
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      Hey hun, statics say it takes an average of 7 attempts before someone successfully leaves an abusive relationship.

      Please get yourself safe, quickly. Make sure you tell someone what has happened.

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