He started again

[Minimrs]

He did stop sort off but IV had baby and lose most my weight. Now he has stared again. (detail removed by Moderator) he made my (detail removed by Moderator) year old son (detail removed by Moderator) while my son face timed his girlfriend. He hurt my son with (detail removed by Moderator) by forcing him out the room and made him bleed from (detail removed by Moderator). I have a new born baby and he took him upstairs while he calmed dow he didn’t tell me where my baby was so when I found. Out I just took him down stairs with me he continued to threaten and swear about my adult son he also said we have no relationship. But he loves me I have no way out of this all I want is my happy family. This that I wrote isn’t half of it really the kids beg him to stop doi g what he does to there big brother but he says he is your step brother and he doesn’t care about him at all.

[Iwantmeback]

Hi Minimrs, this isn’t love, this is controlling and bullying behaviour. Look up the cycle of abuse and trauma bonding. My oh made my son’s life miserable, both my children left to go and live with their own father and tbh it’s been hell fir the past (detail removed by Moderator) or so. My son acts emotionally like a midteen, has no self esteem or any sense of worth yet is a long time not being a teenager. We excuse our partners behaviour but if our children behaved like that we’d be on them like a tonne of bricks. I hope your son is okay, there’s always a scapegoat in a family and sometimes the other siblings will start to treat him badly too. Its a mess, one I’d certainly never have chosen to be in. Most of the time I don’t think my son will see 30. If he does live, I can see him being a 50 year old alcoholic,running about with the local’young team’. He had so much potential, and that’s been stolen from him, all because of the man I fell in love with. What ìm trying to say is protect your older son just as much as you would your new baby. You’ve taken the first steps by posting on here, it’s definitely not a road we’d choose to walk, but we’re on it, and we walk it till we see light at the end of the tunnel.
Keep posting and reading others posts, knowledge is power. Being a new mum should be the best time in your life, the family’s life, it’s utterly exhausting, add to this trying to deal with a manchild, with all the tantrums of a child but the terror of him being an adult.
Stay strong, we do what we do to survive, we’re always here to talk to.
IWMB 💞💞

[KIP.]

Hi and welcome back, I remember your story. You’ve had help before and it’s time to call the police again and have this man removed, abuse often escalates after childbirth when we are vulnerable. To remove a baby like this is really bad and to assault your child is illegal. You know the children are learning from this behaviour. He doesn’t love you and you will never have a happy family with an abuser in it. Love doesn’t hurt or torture. You need to protect your children from this. If you can’t ring the police then your (detail removed by Moderator) year old has every right to report his behaviour to the police and to social services.

[Minimrs]

Thank you for your replies. He has appoligised this morning and has treated us all to lunch. I that what he is doing isn’t right and now he’s says he loves me. My neighbor heard all the shouting yesterday and asked one of my son’s if he was ok and wanted to go in her house for a bit. He said no. But now I’m scared they will call the police or social services if they hear it again. IV only just social services off my back and don’t want them involved again. I feel stuck and unwanted

[KIP.]

It’s the cycle of abuse and this is the honeymoon period where he’s all nice and you’re supposed to forget the fact he’s just hurt your son and been abusive. If you can’t protect yourself and your children then sometimes it takes a Good Samaritan to step in and do it for you. Trauma stealS our Rational thinking process. Ask yourself how bad things have to get before you protect your children. What if he puts one in hospital or kills one. The domestic abuse murders have doubled during lockdown and maybe your son will have the strength to get you all safe. Please step up for your children. Social services are not your enemy here.

[Iwantmeback]

Im sure it’s actually a criminal offense for neighbour’s not to do anything now where they suspect abuse of children is concerned. Its seen as being complicit in the abuse. Better a mistake than an ignored act of abuse and hopefully in time any acts of abusive behaviour will be eradicated.

[Author]

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