he went for my throat

[Bridget Jones Is Free]

We were arguing and he suddenly brought his hands up and went for my throat but stopped himself at the last minute. His eyes were full of weird deep anger, he was glazed. Same as the first time. I don’t feel fear.

[KIP.]

That’s how women die. The Violence becomes so normal we stop fearing it but I know it’s escalating for you. Don’t leave your children without a mother and a useless father in jail.

[Eve1]

Bridget, you’re telling us this and you know it’s serious, even though you don’t feel fear.

KIP is spot on. You need no more proof that it’s time to go. It’s tough. It’s financially very difficult, especially for those of us who didn’t work whist married to our abusers. But you deserve a life.

Hugs

Eve

[White Rose]

Hi Bridget
You know he’s dangerous so please don’t increase your own risk.
Mine raised his hand to me once and I too felt no fear so i can appreciate why ypu say that. I felt defiance and for me it was the defining moment – I knew I had to leave. It was only later I found out what he’d done to his ex wife and daughter as a result of his physical abuse towards them.
Please look after yourself xx

[Serenity]

Hi Bridget,

Please don’t be another statistic. He’s dangerous.

I know you don’t feel fearful, but it’s a self- protection mechanism, attempting to shield you from the ugly truth.

Please take steps to find safety.

[Ayanna]

I know, Bridget, after lots of abuse the fear goes away. You are numb to what he does.
That is severe PTSD already.

You need to tell the police and get out.

Remember what you once were and how colourful your life has been once.
Take that back.
Do not give up, do not allow this to destroy your hopes and dreams.

[Freedomfighter]

Hi Bridget,
When the fear goes away ask yourself this, if you had written your post about your sister, daughter or friend, what would you advise her to do?
Please be careful my counsellor told me i should be afraid of mine when I said I wasn’t, especially when there’s divorce or leaving involved. They feel threatened and cornered, afraid of what you’ll say when you’re free from their control. Take care for your children’s sake as well as your own

[wornout]

(detail removed by Moderator) Normal for most of us here!
I wasn’t afraid of him, I wasn’t scared!
I didn’t feel any fear!
I was numb and just wanted it to be another day.
He had his hands round my throat, I couldn’t speak, my legs went like jelly,
my eyes felt like they were going to pop out of my head.
I woke up on the floor, my head was banging, my shoulder was hurting,
He was kneeling beside me, saying he was sorry.
My first thoughts were not about me or him but for my (detail removed by Moderator) little girl asleep in the next room.
what would have happened to her? who would love and care for her like i do?
would she ever forgive me for leaving her? how would she feel knowing what her granddad had done?
her mum had given up on her and I was all she had.
it took me (detail removed by Moderator) months to get the police involved.
(detail removed by Moderator)
I still have flash backs, I can’t sleep, nightmares seem so real.
But we are safe. My little girl will grow up safe I will raise her to know it’s not ok
to suffer like i did. I will make sure she is never afraid.
I was with him for (detail removed by Moderator) years, he was never violent before, it all changed in the last (detail removed by Moderator) months.
now (detail removed by Moderator) months on I’m afraid, I’m scared…. of what could have been.
My message to you is Be Afraid, Feel Fear, Be Scared.
think of what you leave behind. He won’t care, But do you care?
Will your children care?

[lover of no contact]

Bridget can you try to go No Contact with him as much as possible, in the house? Even though you are back with him you still can manoeuvre to not be in a room if he’s in it. I know its hard to do but I tried to do this before I left as any interaction with him just led to abuse. I wasn’t always successful as they follow you around etc. but it was a bit of damage limitation.

Keep posting though for support.

[Author]

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