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Hello all,
I left my abuser last year. I felt much better, i focused on reaching my main goal and it took months. During these months, he contacted me. At first, i managed to resist. He tried all social media apps… One day i was weak and replied. I thought I was dealing well with it well and it wouldn’t affect me, that there weren’t any risks.
I left the country after months of planning and efforts, exhausted.
I continued talking to him. And in (detail removed by Moderator) he managed to hurt me again. He casually sent pics of (detail removed by Moderator), after the (detail removed by Moderator) pic I asked who it belonged to. I knew he was lying, he lied for many things. He said it was a girl (detail removed by Moderator). But he said she’s not his gf (he always leaves a doubt, or use rubbish lies so he doesn’t even tell the truth but he kind of tell me in a sneaky way). So that destroyed me. He says I have feelings for him or I wouldn’t react this way. He forgot my bday and even asked “(detail removed by Moderator)”. Made me feel like nothing.
He said we can’t be friends, it’s messed up (it is and I don’t want to be his friend, but I let him take control of me again and I feel vulnerable and attached again now. I never wanted that, I should never have let him take his power back). He said we should stop talking so I agreed and deleted our conversations. But it feels he took his revenge. He now is the one who left and left me broken.I don’t want him to move to my country one day with that girl. I feel like I am crazy, like I don’t know what I want feeling almost jealous! What’s wrong with me? It’s all I hate! It’s his jealousy which started showing me something was wrong.
All I want is a real boyfriend, I want to be loved.
But I am broken. I feel I don’t fit in anymore.All the lies are killing me.
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Remember, the early days of no contact are hard. And you have only just gone no contact again. Take advantage of the way you are feeling to block him on all social media platforms. Or even take the plunge and delete your profile. You can and will take back control. Just stick at the no contact and stay safe.
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Abusers make themselves the centre of our world so when they are gone it leave a huge gaping hole. You can see yourself how he uses jealousy to control you. That’s a very typical tactic and one he seems to have used many times and is good at it. He sees that tactic works and will continue to use it against you. No experience is wasted if we learn from it so brush yourself off, stand back up and begin again. You’re taking the power back now. Block and delete him on everything and when he does contact you again, remember the hurt and pain of this experience. You will recover from this, you will move on from this but it will take time, patience, baby steps, and lots of love and care for yourself. Don’t be hard on yourself, these abusers are excellent at this game, that’s why they’re abusers and we are good people x
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Oh honey, I feel for you. I haven’t had any contact with my husband for (detail removed by Moderator) weeks and it’s still hard. He used to call and email dozens of times a day. I thought it was because he loved and needed me BUT it was control, pure and simple. In the end, I told his partner what he’d been doing. He hit the roof. He then reported me to the police for harassing him!! I’ve got all his emails though!! I’ve not heard anything since. Bullies don’t like being stood up to. Each day will get easier.
Be kind to yourself.
Hugs xx -
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You won! I agree with above you have now paved your way to having a normal abuse free life. Not all men are like this – on the upside now you have a blank page to fill, hopefully you will meet someone that is amazing. A man who respects your feelings and treats you how you should be treated. You deserve that, everyone does ☺💪💕💕Luv diymum xx
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