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    • #51081
      mummy
      Participant

      So I’m back again I tend to bury my head and hope it will all go away but it never does first ex I have a child with he doesn’t see her and recently had to report him again for harassment to which I haven’t heard from the police about since they said they would had him in and were waiting on cps to make a decision. Second ex split a couple of months ago after I found out he had a child with someone else lied to me about everything and was taking drugs in my hous (I’ve taken him back many times before for things in the hope he would change) To which he lied to my face got physical and then blamed me for not being supportive. What the hell is wrong with me I thought one abusive relationship was hard but two is unbeatable. I don’t know what to do anymore there must be something wrong with me all i want is to be loved why do i get it all so wrong. Sorry for the long post just don’t know what to do any more x

    • #51083
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      Hey

      There’s nothing wrong with you. I’ve had two abusive relationships too. One after the other. It does get better once you’ve left. It’s not your fault. They targeted you. It’s nothing you’ve done, believe me!! Don’t think it was all in vain. There was good times but now you know and here you are. It will get better and NOT your fault x

    • #51085
      SunshineRainflower
      Participant

      I can relate too, I realised this year that my ex was technically my third abusive relationship, although the other two were much less scary than him and were mainly just in the criticising/controlling/putting me down stages and never got to any threats or violence. For me I realised it was because they remind me of my brother, whose approval I have always wanted. He has always bullied me and been emotionally abusive so their behaviour seemed totally normal to me, it was only this year I realised behaviour like that is classed as emotional abuse when my ex started to threaten and scare me.

      If you have a therapist you can look into your pattern so you can heal from it and find a healthy relationship. But it’s also 100% true that we are targeted by these men and are not to blame for the abuse. I read that they look for women who are kind, have high empathy, are loyal, committed, honest, value relationships and are trusting. So basically we are good, caring, trusting women and that’s why we get targeted. It sucks but once we realise it we can start to notice red flags and avoid these types of men in future as we deserve men who are also kind, loyal, trusting, committed and faithful too. The abusers should all date eachother to get a taste of their own medicine.

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