Hello All, I am new here

[Queenbabyie40]

Hello all, I am new here, was severely abused by my husband for (detail removed by moderator) and tells me it’s my fault that he beats me, and asks me to apologise to him. My step daughter also abused me. Am really praying to be healed it’s a lot. Am very happy to be here

[Queenbabyie40]

I wrote a song on Domestic Violence titled (detail removed by moderator) after a while as I couldn’t talk to anyone about what I was going through,( later had courage to tell my cousin and my brother) the track will be ready in (detail removed by moderator), I want to donate all proceeds from it to Women’s aid,(but don’t know how to go about it) you are doing a fantastic job. The lady I chatted with at the peak of my abuse was really helpful. I am at a safe place now and waiting to be rehoused properly hopefully. I am a gospel artist, I have been talking about the issue of DV a lot on my social media.

[Lisa]

Hi Queenbabyie40

Welcome to the forum! I am sorry to hear about what you have been through, it’s not your fault at all and you are not to blame. I am glad you are in a safe place now and have support.

It’s amazing that you have written a song, you must be very talented. Your music will really help others to heal. Good luck with everything.

Take care

Lisa

[Eggshells]

Hi Queenbabyie40,

Welcome to the forum.

What a lovely idea, how wonderful to be so talented. Raising public awareness in a way that is meaningful and accessible to people is so important.

I hope we hear more from you soon. xx

[Queenbabyie40]

Thank you so much Lisa thanks for the encouragement and your kind words, I sincerely appreciate it, my husband always says it’s my fault he beats me. Will release the track in (detail removed by moderator), normally my songs are on iTunes, with this track I want to donate all proceeds from It to women’s aid. Do you know how I can do that pls? Thanks

 

[Queenbabyie40]

Thanks so much Eggshell, Track will be released in (detail removed by moderator), will be putting out a date by this week hopefully. Will keep you posted .x*x

[Lisa]

Hi Queenbabyie

Thank you so much for wanting to donate to Women’s aid, it is much appreciated!

You can find more information on how to do this here: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/donate/

Take care and please keep posting,

Lisa

[Sleepy]

Glad you can find writing music helps, and by the sound of it your faith does too. Keep having the courage to speak out on this subject that affects so many.

[Queenbabyie40]

Hi Lisa,

Thanks so much for sending the link , I have looked through, it doesn’t really tell me how to donate proceeds from a track, I have picked a release date (detail removed by moderator), will it be ok to add your logo to the flyer pls? Also if possible, I can chat with you on your instagram page to discuss further, will send a message there. I have been having a really bad day, I have cried so many times today, feeling really down. Thanks for all your support

[Queenbabyie40]

Hello Sleepy, thanks for your kind words. I find strength in my faith and music. Will definitely continue to speak on this matter as the Lord helps me. Many Thanks

[Eggshells]

Hi Queenbabyie40. I can see Lisa has moderated your post to keep you safe. Please do feel free to pm me with your song title, release date and where I can buy it. I’d love to hear it. xx

[Queenbabyie40]

Thanks Eggshells, I have picked a release date today, am looking at (detail removed by moderator), it will be on iTunes, title is (detail removed by moderator) Will PM you. Thanks for your support

[Lisa]

Hi Queenbabyie

I am so sorry to hear about your bad day, you could think about calling the Samaritans if you are feeling sad again today.

You can email the fundraising team to discuss things further, the email address is fundraising@womensaid.org.uk

Take care and thank you again

Lisa

[Queenbabyie40]

Thanks you so much Lisa for all you help, the single has been released (detail removed by moderator) and it’s going well,Hoping to talk about it on radio and tv soon, also (detail removed by moderator) the fundraising team has been really helpful. Am hoping I will be able to contribute the little I can with the proceeds of the single .i have been having bad days and weeks, the emergency accommodation I am at the moment is not conducive at all, there is too much violence in the block, (Nearly every week the police are called to the block) especially the people living directly opposite me, they fight Nearly every day and it’s mostly in the mid night and they keep me awake nearly all night, it’s really traumatizing for me as I have been violently abused and it reminds me of my abuse, I sometimes breakdown and cry when they kick off, and my heart beats so fast as their voices and shouting is really loud and it wakes me up If I was already asleep, sometime I put my phone on record to record them. Also the smell of weeds is killing my breathing , I have respiratory issues and the weed smell is really affecting me, that also keeps me awake all night as the smell comes into my room so strong. What do I do pls?

[Hazydayz]

Hello and welcome Queenbabyie40. I hope your soon going to be found a happy place to call your own where you can relax and recover from the horror of your abuse. It has to be so so difficult where your at right now! I’m so sorry for you. I don’t know what you can do to be moved elsewhere? It sounds awful what your suffering there. I guess it will take some time? to be moving from there maybe? But, at least You are safe there, away from your husband knowing where you are I presume? Does that make you feel any safer? I hope it is a help to you? Your songwriting sounds amazing! Well done to you and good luck getting your voice heard. I will look out for you. Stay safe 💞

[Queenbabyie40]

Hello Hazydayz,

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement, I appreciate it. Right now as am typing this they are fighting and shouting, it’s really affecting me, mostly when I hear the lady crying, it’s stresses me out so much and the whole thing is distressing and traumatizing.😭 Am really hoping I will be moved from here as soon as possible as it’s not good for my physical and mental health at all. Thanks a lot❤️

[Hazydayz]

Hi again. Yes, I can imagine the flashbacks and the stress the lady being upset causes you. I wonder if it would be a help to you putting headphones in and silencing everything else except your music to relax with? Good luck with moving 💞

[Wiseafter]

Hi, I had an amazing therapy session today and would like to pass on the wisdom. I learned that there are different nerve responses in the body depending on different stimuli. Basically we have nerves that serve the body when we are reaching out to people we love, nurturing ourselves and doing things we love, that motivate and stimulate our positive good feelings and we feel a sense of trust and peace. Then there are nerves that cause the body to respond with fight or flight, like being under perceived or real attack, when we feel threatened and unsafe, our heart races and we are in a heightened state of fear. The final set are to do with prolonged exposure to feeling unsafe and attacked, basically when we shut down and stop fighting the second stage. Pounding heart is a matter of normality, stress, anxiety and depression kick in. We may be numb to our feelings, unable to feel joy or even cry. We have become trained that resistance is futile and lack of safety is a permanent state that we live with, sometimes for years. I know this is where I ended up, ricocheting between the second and third states. So, I will pass on the advice given to me which is to nurture ourselves, our bodies and our souls whenever and as much as we can, don’t feel we have to answer questions or defend ourselves to others who question why we stayed with our abuser and don’t be around people who bring us down or don’t have our best interests at heart. It means eating well, sleeping, speaking to our GP if needed, and building trusted support around us, taking time out to be alone and come to terms with our experiences, accepting our feelings good and bad and breathe, breathe, breathe. The good news is the body can unlearn trauma with time. Do what feels good, find places of safety and protection. Nurture your soul with your music, your faith, whatever it takes and you will heal.

[Author]

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