22nd September 2020 at 10:36 am #114087
I don’t really know what to say… but I’m happy to have found this forum. It took me a very long time to realize the scale of the situation. He is not violent. I didn’t even know that emotional abuse was… abuse.
I thought it was just a bad – but fixable, relationship.
I took me a while to realize why my depression was getting worse, why I’m always tense, why I lack concentration to the point that it’s affecting my job. Especially since I work from home. And now that I particularly need money to escape the situation, this is driving me crazy.
A big hug to everyone.
22nd September 2020 at 11:41 am #114090KIP.Participant
Hello and welcome. Abuse is insidious but at least you know the terrible truth now which makes it easier in some ways. It’s still a complete shock to realise your partner is deliberately hurting you. You will find lots of support on here. Try reading Living with the Dominator. It changed my life x
22nd September 2020 at 11:42 am #114091HazydayzParticipant
Big hug to you Imagesha🤗 and welcome! to this safe place, where we all come to escape, seek Support and give Support. Your not alone anymore. It’s a horrific realisation isn’t it that your being abused. So many of us are or have been going through similar or worse horrors everyday and more women are waking up to it sadly. Especially during this chaotic time we’ve all been subject to. I hope your able to find extra support outside of here? It’s so difficult I know for many who are locked in! But keep popping in here and we will all try to help support you any way we can? And most importantly keep safe! Sending you strength and hope to meet you here again.💞 Hazydayz x
22nd September 2020 at 12:08 pm #114095
Thanks Hazydayz, thanks KIP.
I will look for a Kindle version of the book.
I am not very lucky in terms of extra support, my long time friends and my family are all abroad. I only have a couple of friends here, and the one I’m closest to has serious health problems.
There are some positives too though. There are no kids involved, we are not married and we don’t share accounts. The only thing that keeps me from going is the work situation. It’s a weird circle. It’s a type of job that requires a lot of concentration and creativity, but I’m burnt out. So I struggle to earn enough and I even started to miss deadlines. It feels horrible. This is not me.
22nd September 2020 at 7:48 pm #114111LisaMain Moderator
Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. I am pleased you found us! It is great to see you have already had replies so I hope you continue to find the forum a supportive place to be.
If you feel like you are in need of some additional support, you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (weekdays 10am – 4pm and 10am – 12pm weekends). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/
Do keep posting to us when you are able to, there will always be support here for you.
22nd September 2020 at 9:22 pm #114117KIP.Participant
Abuse and trauma absolutely drains us of energy and concentration. He will deliberately sabotage anything positive in your life that brings you happiness and success. Reach out to women’s aid above and there’s also the national domestic abuse helpline number too x
24th September 2020 at 10:03 am #114223
24th September 2020 at 10:57 am #114227lovelifefreelyParticipant
Hi Imagesha, I can completely relate to what you are saying, its very draining and distracting, trying to deciphyr if it is abusive or just dysfunctional, and then just feeling tired and seperated from your work, you want to do well but all the enthusiasm and concentration has gone, the time goes by so quickly and before you know it you are way behind in your work, and still so confused in your relationship.. at least that is what it’s like for me. I hope you stay strong and work through it until you are able to think clearly and make the choices that’s best for you, this can be a good place to help you get some information and perspective. x
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