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Hey its my first time posting on anything like this and looking for advice and support. When did every1 decide enough was enough and when it was time to leave ? How do you go about leaving an abusive partner ? Im (detail removed by moderator)years old with 2 young children with my partner and wish i could just leave and be on my own with my kids so we could all be happier. Only thing thats stopping me is that im scared of being on my own with my kids due to being put down with them for so long. Its been almost (detail removed by moderator) years now of hearing i wouldnt cope on my on , id have social involved and that they wouldnt let me have our kids he’d have them etc etc . Its not just the critising and hurtful things that are said that ive had off him , ive also had him raise numerous things to throw at me but he never actually have , hes smashed things up ( phone , tablet etc ) when he gets his hair off he gets in my face shouting and prodding me . He brings up my past and throws up that my family arent actually family ( not blood related i grew up in care ) he tells me none of them are anyting to do with our kids . Any spare money i have he takes out of my pockets and i always have to ask where money is or how muh money we got. I struggle to shop on my own due to worry of what he may say bout how much i spent nd wen i do go shoppin he questions how i spent x amount. He trys to stop me from going to my mums ( thats the only place i really go nd when i do go out je uses it against me that hes had the kids and ive been out makes out like he always has the kids and i do nutin for them. Wish i could just walk away from it all for both mine and my kids sake but i dunno where id go , we living in my house im on tenancy and every time i ask him to leave he refuses . Hes already told me that it doesnt matter of i phoned police and had him removed because hed come back anyway. After dealig with it for so long ive noticed changes in myself and sometimes i find myself sayig thigs to him that he says to me and i know i shouldnt be stoopig to his level x
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I strongly advise you to contact woman’s aid and ask for an IDVA. Whoever will provide the IDVA in the end, you need one. That is an independent domestic violence advisor. This person will manage all your problems around getting out, staying safe and keeping the kids, maybe also getting you into counselling.
I can assure you without even knowing you, that you will be a great mother on your own. The fact that you want to get out and live a life a life free from abuse proves that you are well aware of what is right and wrong and you know what you want.
Keep posting here!
We are here for you!
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Thankyou for taking the time to read such a long post and replying with advice. A family member was going to do a refferal to my local service but still waiting for them to do refferal. Ive been contemplating weather to speak to my health visitor but concerned what she may to in regards to kids being round this environment also health visitor was aware of what was going on with regards to what my partner been sayin and she told me it was emotional and mental abuse. This was almost (detail removed by moderator) years ago but its as though she just left me to deal with it alone with no support or advice. Right now i dont feel confident to leave and do it on my own . My plan originally was to get help on buildig my confidence up with my kids so that i felt confident enough to leave and do it on my own but i cant keep allowing him to do this not just me but to our kids as my little boy seems to be in the firing line with my partner also x
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Please do try and call the helpline. The ladies are amazing and so understanding.
He’s been feeding you this rubbish to lower your confidence so you won’t leave. It’s not true and you know in your heart that you are a good mum and you can look after your children.
Getting out is hard so do ask for all the help you can get. Don’t be ashamed to tell friends and family your situation- you’ll be amazed how understanding people can be.
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Just wanted to echo what the ladies have said – this is all utter rubbish – he’s said all this to try and wear you down, brain wash, strip you of your esteem – make you believe you cant cope without him – to stop you from leaving. This man sounds dreadful. Its really hard to find any strength when you’re in this position – makes you easier to control; but you can get help and change it for the better. Agree, call the WA helpline
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