This topic contains 4 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 3 weeks, 2 days ago.

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  • #114292
     Anonymous

    Hi,
    I’m new here, I don’t really have anyone I can express my worries too, myself and my children have been subject to abuse for the past (detail removed by moderator) years, although there is no contact at present which is great!
    My ex husband is someone who gains a lot of respect due to what his business is, and he is able to make me look like a bad mum trying to bring my (detail removed by moderator) children up, and a lot of people judge in todays world and see him and then see me who had a minimum paid job, single mum with Mental health issues due to PTSD, and him who owns a company in the social care industry promoting mental health in adults and children as a core issue and giving money so he gains more as money is what people now see as important, him also knowing how the systems work. we now in a position where we sit and wait for his next move, majority of the abuse over the years as been mental abuse. (detail removed by moderator)
    we also have messages of him admitting controlling and coercing behavior, we have been told (detail removed by moderator)? due to his social status he has managed to turn a lot of ‘professionals’ into not doing their ‘safeguarding’ job to protect my children, in the first place, this has caused me a lot more anxiety and mental stress and questioning myself, the only thing I know is my kids are now happy until next time he gets bored and wants to start up again, but the not knowing when his next move will be is playing a massive part on trying to move forward and forget about what we have been through. I don’t have any friends as I was isolated and don’t really have anyone else who understands the impact this has on us.

  • #114298
     Hazydayz 
    Participant

    Hello ButterflyLotus and welcome. Sorry to read what you and your children are going through, it’s very disturbing to read that your ex has been able to manipulate the system and weaken your hopes of justice being done I’m sure. I keep my fingers crossed for you that it changes! That should not be happening! It must be awful coping with that, Especially as you mention your mental health being used against you too. Your here now and with people who understand what your abuse has done to your lives, each of us here has suffered in some way too, so keep posting here and some wonderful women will come along and help I’m sure! Have you spoken to women’s aid? You could contact them if you haven’t already? See what Support they can offer you? Take care and don’t lose hope, your doing well so far. Stay safe!

  • #114300
     Anonymous

    Hello Hazydayz,
    Thank you for your kind words, Its nice to find a place of being able to talk about things.
    Hope your having a nice today.

    Take care

    • #114333
       Hazydayz 
      Participant

      Hello again ButterflyLotus and Good Morning to you. I hope it is today? At least the sun is shining for us. Here it is anyway, hope it is with you too? Your very welcome to talk anytime you need to! Just pouring your worries and anxiety out is a big help to us, don’t you find? I must say…It’s got very busy here everyday lately, lots of us doing the same! I guess maybe it’s also , due to the covid affect affecting women? Affecting men too! Making abuse more apparant to those who live with it, it’s very difficult and of course lots of women reaching out for help. Sadly, It seems sometimes people are missing getting replies? I’ve found that too? So many troubled women I guess! Anyway, I’ll keep a look out for you and get back to you when I can. Yesterday I had a busy day and yes it was an ok day! Thankyou. Hope your days are going ok? Take care, stay safe! Hazydayz x 💞

  • #114697
     Anonymous

    Hi Hazydayz,

    Sorry for the late reply I haven’t been logged in, and I’ve had a couple of bad days with my head! If im honest I’m struggling to get over things as my ex is able to still just drive around where me and my children live and despite going through all the correct channels he still can carry on with this mental abuse, its really affecting me and I have no idea what i can do to protect myself or my children. I have so much evidence in black and white I just don’t understand how the legal systems that are there to protect us cant do exactly that. I spoke to my solicitor and mention ‘section 76 of the serious crimes act’ the only thing she could do was send him a letter not to contact us, I was then told I have to ask his permission to take my daughter on holiday, he can just turn up at school parent evenings as the law states he has PR too. I feel like I’ve exhausted all avenues to protect my children but as a mother i feel like I’ve failed to protect them and we just have to sit and wait for his next move even though we have many years of evidence to back up the abuse.
    Sorry for off loading just really not sure what I can do anymore.
    Thank you for letting me off load I really do appreciate it!
    ButterflyLotus

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