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    • #121387

      I’m new here and I am finding my way around I will probably say too much I’ve noticed a lot that gets deleted so not to identify so hopefully I will learn 🙏… I will probably be around the over 50s boards – I’ve read some of the posts and can see myself in quite a few – especially the gaslighting – psychological- narc type posts … yes my head is cabbaged but I’m planning a way out but I am fearful … been with him a long long time …

    • #121388

      Hi Thesoundofrain,

      Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry that you need to be here but pleased that you have found your way here.

      It’s a really supportive site with so many women who will understand what you are going through and be there to support you.

      It can sometimes be a little nerve racking when you make your first post but it’s such a positive step to take.

      The moderator is really good at taking identifying information out but you’ll soon get a good idea of how you can tell your story without identifying yourself. xx

    • #121389
      Freedom @

      Hi @thesoundof rain. I just wanted to say hello. I don’t have much advice really but I’m sure you will find some great support here x

      • #121414

        Thank you for the welcome 🙏- my eyes aren’t great and i find the print a bit feint on this site so please excuse any spelling mistakes🤓- I also forget things easily , so just like now I’m replying to a post and forget what it said – I’ll be honest I’ve found this disconcerting and it is like my brain is constantly in a ‘burn’ mode – like burn all information and keep on alert – it’s a behaviour that is to keep me mentally prepped I suppose – I’ll stop now and re read

    • #121397

      Hey, welcome to the forum, I’m sure you will find it really useful and it’a great you already have it in your mind that you’re wanting to leave. It’s a very scary thought (I haven’t left yet) especially when you’ve been with them for so long so everyone here will sympathise with you.
      All I can say is as sad as it is that we are all here on this forum, it really does help just knowing others understand or have been/are going through similar experiences.
      There’s a good book list post somewhere on the forum if you’re wanting to learn more about abuse. Why does he do that? by Lundy Bancroft is a huge eye opener. I’ve heard it’s available to download online for free too.
      Take care and keep posting xx

      • #121415

        Hi I’m trying to work out how to reply to one person – you know like direct my response to the one person who has posted – my replies are going to look higglety pigglety… I have left him in the past , but after having my daughters I found it harder and to be honest back then I’d never heard of narcissistic behaviour and gas lighting- I just knew he had a miserable hold over me . Unfortunately staying for the kids has backfired on me … I’m going to write about that in another post

    • #121399

      Hello thesoundofrain

      I’m new on here today too so I thought I’d say hello 🙂

      I think it’s positive that you’ve found your way to this forum and that you’re finding common experiences you can relate to – especially if you’re dealing with things like gas lighting. I experienced this too and it made me doubt my situation which stopped me from reaching out so good on you for taking the step of posting on here. Take care x*x

    • #121409

      hey i m new as well but finally find someone gets me and situation, its so hard to explain to anyone from ”outside” , especially after decades of covering up and pretending all was fine, stay strong, this forum is full of incredible survivors x

    • #121456

      If you want to send a private message to someone, just click on their username and it should give you the option to message them.

    • #121461

      Hi. You will soon find your way round, daunting at first, but you can say and share as much or as little as you wish. We are all at different stages in our journey and are here for each other. Take care, and keep posting. Xx

    • #121475

      Thanks for the welcome.. I am finding the page itself hard to navigate – and read – the way it looks on my phone and moves off centre – maybe I’ll get used to it …I know to tap on person to pm it’s responding on this bit – when there’s a few responses and you want to reply individually to that person and not at the end – I can see others can do it …🙈- I must be being a bit thick 🥴 ..

    • #121495
      Main Moderator

      Hi Thesoundofrain

      Sorry to hear you are having problems on the forum, you’re not being thick at all, it can take a little bit of time to get used to where everything is.

      If you want to reply to a particular comment in a thread of conversation you can click on the “Reply” button above that particular comment and it will take you to a box. Type your reply then click “submit” and your post will appear below their comment.

      I hope this helps.

      Take care and keep posting,


      • #121497

        Lisa 🤣- god I feel a burk- I was expecting the reply at the bottom .. thanks

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