17th November 2019 at 8:26 am #91624
My ex has demanded custody of the children. I fear for them. I really do. The violence against me from them has stopped because I got help and I felt as though they were acting by proxy like puppets on a string. The children of course don’t recognise the danger.
17th November 2019 at 8:48 am #91625hopParticipant
Ohh sweetheart, he can’t just take them. Try not to worry unless he makes an application to court.
My youngest is turning into him. The stuff my child says to me is outrageous but he doesn’t know what he’s saying. It’s all about controlling you. Don’t let him know he’s bothered you. Sending big hugs xx
17th November 2019 at 9:11 am #91628
Hey maddog, these men constantly demand the ridiculous. He can demand all he likes, with his history he would be lucky to get custody of a goldfish. Please don’t react to his delusions. Hold onto reality and the truth of the situation. Take a step back and look at the bigger picture. They always go for what they think will hurt us most. How is it in the kids best interest to give him custody? Will he get more money, housing and benefits if he has custody? What do you think is really behind this apart from his sense of entitlement and delusions?
17th November 2019 at 9:19 am #91630
He’s got his flying monkeys who I’ve been complaining about. I will speak to the police later. Very frightening, although it makes no sense. You can’t put anything past these people.
17th November 2019 at 11:30 am #91636IwantmebackParticipant
Hi Maddog, you are so right, never underestimate them. With all the information on file about him he can threaten all he likes. He truly is delusional. Get organised, again. It’s like groundhog day isn’t it?
I truly hope and pray you get this man out of your life.
17th November 2019 at 4:44 pm #91652
The police can’t do much So I said it’s about the children and they want their voices to be heard. They are the ones who have endured child abuse all their lives. All very covert. They were not aware that they were being groomed towards physical and emotional violence. So far, all the legal steps my ex has taken are to allow child abuse to continue. I have a massive problem on my hands.
18th November 2019 at 9:32 am #91711LisaMain Moderator
It sounds as if things are very challenging at the moment as your ex is demanding custody. As you know, he is using this to maintain control and has no regard for their welfare. Going through the family courts can be grueling, but there are many things you can do to prepare and to help you get through this time. Reporting your concerns to the police is a courageous and scary thing to do. They may not be able to do much as you say, but they will involve Social Services, who should work with you to protect your children. At any time if you fell scared or unsafe, call the police.
Do keep a log of incidents with date, time and place- especially if he is verbally abusive or threatening whilst the children are present. It is also a good idea to be well-organised and write down significant incidents and concerns that have occurred previously. This can also help as a useful aide memoir when speaking to professionals. Also keep a detailed record of who you speak to, their name and position.
Contact Rights of Women and Coram, their website ‘Child Law Advice’ is useful and you can email or call them as well. Do get in touch with your local DV service for support and possible advocacy, and speak to professionals involved in the care of your children, the school, G.P. and report your concerns. On the Rights of Women website there is useful information about the family court process, including Practice Direction 12J. This directive should be followed by the judge and court if there is any concerns that domestic violence has taken place. The courts will be specifically interested if this abuse has an impact on the children.
Your ex may be able to play the ‘good father’ role, but you know the truth and can build a body of evidence to show that he is abusive and a risk to his children. Stay strong, we are all here for you.
Best wishes and keep posting,
18th November 2019 at 11:49 am #91716[email protected]Participant
He won’t get full custody xx very deluded these men😳 time to pull out the stops now. I was told you would have to be injecting your eyeballs with heroin to have that happen. The lawyer told me that xx taking kids from their mum is detrimental to them and only good for him xx
19th November 2019 at 10:24 pm #91874
I’ve been in touch with the agencies involved with the family. They are all baffled as to why this person is still working on my case. It is without question that this person seeks to misguide the courts. They won’t answer my questions and refuse to look at evidence. I know my ex doesn’t want the children. He wishes me harm and prefers me dead. Where does he get the money from?
19th November 2019 at 10:40 pm #91877
Can the agencies involved with the family give you supporting letters to b**w her report out the water. Make your own report using these x
20th November 2019 at 4:50 pm #91922
All the agencies have written. I’ve sent them all to this person who has decided to ignore them. I have emailed her manager as she or my daughter has lied and we need to know who. They don’t answer questions.
20th November 2019 at 6:39 pm #91930
Ok. Let them know you will be bringing it up with the Judge. Or go through their complaints process.
20th November 2019 at 6:41 pm #91931
I’d build my own report backed up with these letters x go as high as you can. Your MP?
20th November 2019 at 6:52 pm #91932
I’ve done everything I’m able to do. They lied and ignored important details in their response and I am taking my concerns as high as they can go. It’s horrible being gaslighted by officialdom. It’s terrifying. I’ve been told to contact my GP’s crisis line. Like my ex, this woman has no level below which she will not sink.
My concerns have been blanked out and I am being treated as an object of disgust and horror. Meanwhile my ex is never satisfied and marches around in a seething rage. Perhaps he’s been in more trouble with the police. I have no idea. It appears that he is no longer in control of his temper.
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