Help :(

[Anonymous]

I recently posted. My ex boyfriend who I left (detail removed by moderator)  was phoning me all last week leaving voicemails of him crying and saying he wants me back etc. He now has a restraining order so he cannot come near me or contact me as he has been charged with (detail removed by moderator)  different assaults on me so the courts are going to ask him back.
Basically I’m gutted, I’m in tears and feel like I can’t see a future, we had a holiday booked (detail removed by moderator)  but obviously I cannot go. I paid over (detail removed by moderator)  my share of the holiday but he was the lead passenger. I have now found out that he is taking someone who he used to sleep with before he met me. So basically I’ve paid for her to spend a lovely holiday with him. I’m so so upset and have been crying all day. I just don’t know what to do 🙁

[KIP.]

Hey there, I know it’s absolute agony at this stage but you will get through it. You know deep down it’s the right thing to do. It goes to show how much he really cares when he can take someone else. My ex was begging and declaring his undying love all the while seeing someone behind my back. Do you have holiday insurance? It might be worth checking. I can only imagine how he would have treated you on holiday. Isolated and away from help no doubt he would have made it hell. You can ring the helpline number on here for advice or just to speak to someone. I remind myself of this time and agony and it made me determined never to go back for more. No experience is wasted if you can learn from it. Meantime google trauma bonding. It opened my eyes x

[Happynow]

Hi Flowers and Rainbows,

Please dont be sad, you need to keep remembering that a bad apple will not turn right again. My ex did similar things to me all just to try and make himself feel more important than he actually was. You need to think that this new girl is now experiencing all the awful things you did, it wasn’t your fault he was the way he was its his own insecurities and the need for power that controls men like that. But he won’t live happy ever after with the issues he does that he probably can’t even change, whereas you CAN and WILL have a happy ever after and you will look back on him and wonder why you let it hurt you so much.

I understand completely what you mean though but forget about what he is doing now and just concentrate on yourself and how is best for you to feel better, your probably thinking easier said than done and I know it is but I have been where you are now and I just want to give you a little hope that you will be ok, your not the one with the problem, he will hurt again and you are lucky to be free of him x*x

I did write in the are you new forum, give me a read just in case it might help a little somehow x*x

[Whenwillifindhappiness]

I know how your feeling it’s horrible. My ex moved on within weeks and I’m also pregnant due to give birth in weeks. I keep feeling regret about the restraining order. He’s probably enjoying life with his new girlfriend with no responsibilities. I’m struggling in this heat with 2 other children. I just want to cry. I just want to ring him and ask for help. But I’m going to stay strong and do this for my children and future!! We can do this!! Deep down he’s only taking that girl to make you jealous and to feel how you feel now so he’s basically winning!! Just like my ex it’s all for show, knowing I can’t exactly move on with being pregnant keeps him still in control. Whereas you can pick yourself up and show him your not bothered!! Happiness is the best revenge xx

[Happynow]

Well said x*x

Keep that strength up and you will be just fine x*x

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