This topic contains 5 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Watersprite 1 week, 5 days ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #114726
     Lottieblue 
    Participant

    Dear Everybody,

    I don’t even know what to write. A line has been crossed. In my mind there is no going back. I am absolutely terrified. We are not in the same place. He doesn’t know. He stormed off after his last attempt to manipulate me, I left to come home, and we haven’t spoken since. I don’t know what his next step will be.
    When I think about his behaviour it is black and white. I know I don’t want to do this any more. But I don’t think he’ll be expecting this. He will see it as a bump in our road. He will try to talk about it, not to sort it for me, but for him. He definitely sees me as the criminal here, for not behaving in the way he wants me to behave.

    I know I don’t want to be with him, but somehow I’m scared that he’ll talk me round. I need to leave our home but I’m not practically ready to, yet, and he could come back at any moment. I think he may at the weekend. Legally I can’t keep him out.

    I’m so scared. ☹️

  • #114728
     KIP. 
    Participant

    It took bail conditions for him to prevent him coming near me but also to prevent me from being manipulated round. It takes zero contact. Even with zero contact it took (detail removed by Moderator) years for me to believe in myself enough to know his Jedi mind games wouldn’t work anymore. I used to think of his a Rasputin so I know the anxiety this causes. You have every right to block and refuse to talk to him. Get a third party to do all the contact for you.

    • #115205
       Ebrunner 
      Participant

      Hi @lottieblue

      I’ve been really worried about you. Your cry for help sounded so absolutely desperate and you don’t appear to have been on here since. I’m sorry I don’t have any advice or words of wisdom to offer, but I’d just like to know you’re safe and in a better place than you were. I guess there comes a time in all of our situations when a line is irreversibly crossed and that can be overwhelmingly scary. I’ve been staying with my Mum for a couple of weeks for a break, but the time is looming when I have to decide on my next move, whether to stay away permanently or go back for my last lot of belongings and that is giving me many a sleepless night.

      I hope all is well. Take care! 😘

  • #114729
     beachhut 
    Participant

    Hi Lottieblue,

    I am so sorry that you are feeling this way, I know how hard this is, you know in your head that the situation you find yourself in is so wrong, in fact you know that
    you should do what ever you can to get out. The problem is it is easier said than done, and all the support and help offered is great and much appreciated, but taking that step is so frightening, and you question everything, I know because that is what I am doing myself, but I know I was right to leave, you will have off days and mourn the loss of the life you had, but was it the life you wanted and deserved, I would imagine the answer to that is NO. I have found the one quote I used to hear so often ‘you made me do it’ But this time he made me do it I LEFT.

    Please take care, make a plan and stay strong we all deserve a peaceful life it is not to much to ask for.

    beachhutXx

  • #115240
     Bettertimesahead 
    Participant

    I get the line crossed scenario totally. When it happened to me it felt surreal, like I was dreaming it. However it’s a bit further on now, still long way to go , but no regrets. Took me quite a while to block him on the phone but once I did it felt good. No more panic every time I got a text. Hope you’re ok. Let us know when you can xx

  • #115244
     Watersprite 
    Participant

    Hello Lottieblue – so sorry the line was crossed because that means pain but abusers do get worse especially when they see us stronger ! Take heart even in your fear your voice is stronger and we are listening and you have found your line – power to you. Be kind to you. Keep moving forward – safely take no risks safety first x

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