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    • #86466
      JustKeepSinging
      Participant

      I’m in the process of leaving – I’ve left, I’ve talked to women’s aid, I’ve got stuff in process but obviously waiting because of the bank holiday.
      I had to reply to his message tonight to tell him not to contact me further as he’d started messaging my family & having his family message me (also abusive!).
      It opened the flood gates and now I’ve had so many – first annoyed then pleading I’m expecting angry next.
      It’s taking all my effort not to read the messages & reply. I’ve had to go over & over again in my mind all the negative yet a part of me still has this tiny spark of belief that things could be different.
      🙁

    • #86470
      EbonyRaven
      Participant

      Hi,

      I’m sorry to hear he’s involved his family too.

      They don’t change. It’s the cycle of abuse. They may be nice for a little while to hook you back in but it doesn’t take long for them to slip back into the abusive personality, and that is the real one.

      Well done for getting out, that’s great. Could you block his number? I realise that’s hard. It is the best possible thing to do for you though.

      You can get through this, and then not contacting him will get easier, and you will have peace away from him.

      xx

    • #86473
      JustKeepSinging
      Participant

      Thanks ER

      I know this, I know I know this but he knows how to get to me!!!

    • #86477
      EbonyRaven
      Participant

      Yes, they seem to have a special ‘talent’ for finding our buttons don’t they? They use them to hurt us mostly, sometimes so subtly that we don’t even realise it until later. They also know how to use them to hook us when they realise we are waking up to them.

      Nothing he says is true though. It is all lies just so you let him back in, so he can have an easy life and continue using you as his emotional punching bag. It is easier (in his mind) than going out and finding another supply.

      If you do read the texts, take a moment or four after each one and think about what button it is phrased to press. Look at them from the outside, with logic. As if you were your own best friend looking at them for you. A best friend who will bluntly call out his bullc**p.

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