Help please

[Madlen]

Hi all, I am new one,

Want to share my situation and looking for advice,
I am in UK for around (detail removed by moderator) on a spouse visa. I love my husband, and hope he will change. But it is getting worse. When I came here I started work from second months I am in a country my husband said he not going to feed me and my kid. Plus he was talking all the time about money he spend on my visa so i give him all money back for the visa and all other expenses, it was a shock for me in a beginning. So I done it just to keep him calm and comfortable near me. Then I was in charge to pay rent to leave in his house, that what I am hear all the time,that all is his and I am nobody, plus I am fat and alcoholic (have no idea why he is call me like this), than he was fed up with my accent etc. So seems like he was irritated with everything, with what I cook how I cook the way I am eat etc. But we was knew each other for (detail removed by moderator) before decided to get married and move together. He doesn’t help lots all he is keep telling I taking your kid to school and you leave in my house.
He threat to stop my visa all the time. Just keep tell I had enough of you. Give you 3 more months to try if you going to be good enough for me. I am try to leave him in a beginning he was always stop me cry and tell that he love me. Now I catch him he is cheating with other womans. i said he can go to this woman, said i will leave him he beg to stay longer. I don’t know what to do. I cannot sleep any more. I feel stressed all the time. I am on a very good job here. My daughter in a school. I thinking if he cancel my visa my daughter would not be able to go to school in my country, she don’t know language very well we moved here she was little. And I am not really aloud to speak my language at home, it is understandable in somaway he is checking everything my phone my mails, even I changing passwords. it is full horror for me, I understand that i should go home but have nowhere to go no place to stay, no one around me, how can I raise my daughter. I don’t know what going to happen tomorrow. i am so afraid now he can find that email, can not even think what could happend.

[KIP.]

Can you ring the helpline number on here. Or go and see a solicitor. Most offer free initial advice x

[Ayanna]

Please ring Rights of Women.
As you are working here you do not depend on him for the visa.
Also, Citizen’s Advice Bureau can give you advice for your stay.

You do not have to suffer like this.
Make inquiries about your stay and do the citizen ship test.

Write down things you have to do or you find out in your own language, so that he cannot understand them and hide the notes.

I did that too.

You can go into a refuge with your child and still work.

Keep posting here.

We are all here for you!

[Savingmyself]

Hello Hun
What he is doing is very abusive and you can seek help to find out your rights
I don’t believe he can cancel your Visa as there must be some protection around visas . And you have been here a long time . So you have to get all the help and advise you can to get away from this horrid abuser
Big hugs xx

[Healthyarchive]

Dear Madlen, your husband sounds HORRIBLE, i think that you need to leave him. You do not have to be dependent on him due to your visa or because you have nowhere else to go. It might help you to speak to a member on here called Million Pieces who had a similar sort of relationship which she has now broken away from. If you visit the housing office of your local council they will speak to you about all of this. X*X

[Madlen]

Thanks lots every one for your support, and ideas. Makes me feel better x*x

[Serenity]

Hi Madlen,

He sounds like a cruel power freak.

I agree you should call Rights of Women and Women’s Aid to get a clear idea of what your rights are.

You deserve so much more than him. He sounds like a truly horrible person.xx

[Madlen]

Hope all, I did phone on help line, thanks lots now I have clear head, what to do next

[Ayanna]

Wonderful!

Keep posting! x*x

[Author]

Posts