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    • #7159
      Doglover99
      Participant

      The difficulties with my son continue. I keep on bidding for houses and I think I’m very close but my son announced last night that he wants to move out. He’s still at school with no income etc but some of his mates apparently live in a homeless place for young people in town and he has now got the idea that he wants to move there. I am terrified that he can actually legally do that and just leave. Surely he can’t???

      He’s in a final year at school but legally still needs to be in full time education until he’s 18. He is very troubled, has not attended school since he got kicked out of his last school and the new school and other agencies are trying to help me get him to attend so that he can sit his exams this year.

      He’s determined to move to this hostel place and had already filled in the form stating he’s suffering domestic abuse at home from his stepdad. Surely they need to speak to me as his parent to find out the facts before granting him a place? And when I explain to them that I haven’t kicked him out, he does have a home and I’m trying to get us out that will surely make him ineligible for this place.

      He’s plain and simple just way too young to move out, he’s suffering from the effects of our home life, he’s not finished school, he has no money or part time job, he wouldn’t have a clue how to live independently. That is a sure way of him falling off the rails permanently.

      I am terrified that he can actually do this due to the domestic abuse at home. Please someone tell me that he can’t legally do that and the fact that I’m here protecting him and trying to get us out will make him ineligible.

      A big part of it is he just wants to be independent, do what he wants when he wants (pretty much what he does now anyway), have his own place. Only a day ago he was quite happy talking about our life when we get out own place but now he has found out couple of his mates (not the best type of mates to have to be honest) live in this place and get some type of benefits each month (very little by the sounds of it) to live on and he thinks he can just move out.

    • #7160
      Serenity
      Participant

      Hi Dog Lover,

      I think you need to canvass as many experts as you can right now, to glean all the advice you can at this difficult moment in time.

      It is hard, as it is good to listen to your son’s feelings – and maybe he just can’t stand being around his step dad one moment longer- but at the same time, he is vulnerable.

      Organisations you could try:

      NSPCC ( they are fantastic)
      Family Lives
      CORAM

      Good luck. Keep calm and get support x*x

    • #7172
      Confused123
      Participant

      As hard as it to accept Hun, totally understand your worries but sometimes just better to see how he copes on own , will prob get in wrong crowd and in trouble but how do u stop these kids. Get advise from
      Nspcc and family support worker if u have one, I was in similar scenario or am now it is heart breaking , no matter what I said or did in end my eldest did mess up his gcses , started to show positive when we moved down but back to negative again , sometimes they have to learn from
      There mistakes and hard bit is watching them repeatedly make mistakes by going against us , maybe this is how they learn when they get a proper slap from life , we can only keep guiding each another from experience , hope my post doesn’t upset that isnt my intention

    • #7182
      Daisy
      Participant

      Does your son have a social worker you can speak to,
      Or if not You could just ring the social services for your area for advice. I assume that the place he is taking about would be funded by social services for any under 18 year olds, so I hope they could help you here.
      X x x

    • #7291
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hi Hun

      U r always in my heart and thought hope u ok, if your son still adamant his leaving do contact social services tell them the scenario that u r activeley looking for a new place but this is whwew your son has said he is moving to, as he is under 18 they will keep an eye on him and even maybe give a support worker to work with u both, at least u keeping them updated, i know when my son said he wants to live on own and s s were involved this is what was suggested to me that ideal if he would stay with me but if he goes they would watch him

    • #7297
      Daisy
      Participant

      I agree with confused here,
      At least you can talk through your concerns,
      Under 18 and estranged from parents usually needs they don’t have a parent looking out for them as you clearly are and maybe instead of looking at him moving out, they can help the both of you move together
      X x x

    • #7348
      Doglover99
      Participant

      Thank you everyone for your support and advice. It looks like this is on hold for now, he hasn’t taken the application form to them yet. I spoke to the place as well and it sounds like he would be put at the end of the waiting list even if he was accepted to this place. I’ve got news about the housing but I’ll put it under the leaving the abuser heading.

      Thanks again and I’m sorry I haven’t responded to others’ messages for a while. My head is full at the moment and I can’t offer much advice to anyone at the moment.

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