24th January 2016 at 11:45 am #8231
Help massive panic over completing form to go to court. I just don’t know where to start I could cry. Having to do it my mums as most of my paperwork is there. (Detail removed by Moderator)
My solicitor say’s complete this and it’s so much information. Mums now stressing because she can’t help which is the last thing I need.
Any ideas on what to do, where ti get help etc.
24th January 2016 at 12:00 pm #8233
Also I have paperless bank accounts will they accept ones printed of net?
24th January 2016 at 1:25 pm #8239lover of no contactParticipant
Hi Falling Skys,
I felt the same. I would feel overwhelmed and fearful with submitting the forms for court. How I coped was to approach it like ‘the dreaded essays ‘I had to do when I was at school. The thought of them was actually worse than the actual completing them. Also I would say to myself, first things first, they need to be done (so no procrastination), just do them (allocate 1 hour and just start filling). I learnt they didn’t have to be perfect (accurate yes), that’s what my solicitor was there for. I had to do my part, that was all. There were others involved in my process of separation which I couldn’t control, my solicitor, my abuser, my abuser’s solicitor, the judge etc. It wasn’t all down to me, I was only a part, but I was responsible for my part (the filling in of what was needed for the separation process ) to proceed. So I would do my part (say a little prayer beforehand). Let go of it then and proceed with my day.
Its a new experience for you. If you had to go through several separations we’d be experts at it. lol Its daunting because its new and we’ve never had to do it before. Good luck!
24th January 2016 at 1:56 pm #8240
You summed up exactly how I felt. Have been out and got some folders with pockets so I can make order of what I need to collect.
It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one that panics over it.
They ask about and future action you may take. When I am in a safe place I (detail removed by Moderator) But as he will see the paperwork I am at a loss. It was the police that said wait till I was in the safe place.
24th January 2016 at 2:43 pm #8241AyannaParticipant
Hi, please do not panic. When is the court date? Do a few pages every day, just 5 pages a day. It has about 27 pages.
You can get a signed printout of your bank statements from your bank. Fill in what you know and have. If you have to send requests for pension, the court will accept the receipts from the post office that you sent the requests. Pension requests take 3 months. Just be calm about it. Do what you can. Look for receipts. Make copies. Do only 5 pages a day. I went through this. It takes a while to complete and the courts know.
24th January 2016 at 3:14 pm #8245White RoseParticipant
The dreaded form!
It honestly seems worse than it is. I felt sick and had a panic attack when I saw it but its really not too bad to do.
The guidance notes are helpful.
I agree do a bit at a time.
On line print offs of bank statements are ok and so is an online quote of car value.
Include absolutely everything to be sure and be careful to be honest with daily costs section – especially with food bills and any child care costs. My solicitor added 10% to mine as she said it was crazy what I’d put and actually she was right. My abuser claimed for a cleaner and gardener since I did the lot. Cheek!! I’m surprised he didn’t add a prostitute too to satisfy his other needs!!
If you have anything joint you both need to include it e.g. mortgage.
House valuations are free – just tell agent you’re possibly looking to sell and there’ll be no problem.
Pensions were my biggest problem – took ages so I ended up ringing to nag and nag them and finally got something through after I cried down the phone (not good but I was desperate!).
Just get the information rewuired, don’t try to do any calculations – leave that to solicitor.
I found it easier to do a sheet for each section and handed it with the backup evidence to solicitor to add to the form. I then checked it. My abuser did it all DIY and completely messed up meaning he had to do it three more times to get it right. Women are more logical!!!
Good luck. You’ll feel so much relief when it’s done. But its still a long haul after the form.
You don’t need an essay in the “plans for future” but you will need to say what you want e.g. home, same standard of living, same class of holidays etc. I added that I had been emotionally and financially abused on there too at solicitors advice.
Another little step on the road. You can do it. You probably don’t need your mum’s help except for tea and cake and to check off evidence at the end xxxx
24th January 2016 at 6:38 pm #8251
Thank you Ayanna and White Rose,
I have a couple of months to do it in, but I just want it out of the way. I feel better knowing you felt like me but were able to it.
26th January 2016 at 12:01 am #8348AyannaParticipant
White Rose you made me laugh.
My abuser too demanded a lot of impossible things.
And I too had a breakdown when I received that form. I had no more money to pay a solicitor.
Falling Skys do not let this get you down. In the end I managed to do this all by myself even without a solicitor and he got nothing. I had three months to complete it. It was a lot of work. But google is a good helper. And the pension insurances took their time, but I got the documents in time. There is space to write about the abuse and I can only encourage you to write all this for the court.
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