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    • #132239
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      So after a few good weeks, here we go again with the looks, the sneers, the comments, withholding money for bills whilst spending whatever he likes on alcohol & drugs, causing arguments infront of the kids, driving manically (detail removed by moderator). Why do we believe the good times.

    • #132240
      Darcy
      Participant

      Hi beautiful angel… Bananaboat,
      Use these bad times to reinforce in yourself what you don’t want in a relationship, then start to visulise what you do want … you don’t even have to know how this will all happen but just start to believe it will and have hope
      It is a journey you are on my darling and unfortunately sometimes the process is long but don’t ever give up on knowing that you and your children deserve a better life
      When I was with my ex, I use to say to myself over and over … I’m going to have it all again and more … and now I have
      Get yourself a mantra and just keep repeating it in your head … he doesn’t have to know
      Keep yourself and your children safe and keep connected to the forum
      Sending you continued love and support
      D xx

      • #132260
        Bananaboat
        Participant

        Thank you, that’s good advice. I survive by knowing I have a plan and can survive when the time finally comes that I break free, but you’re right having a mantra for the here and now would help.

    • #132258
      roadtohealing
      Participant

      Hi bananaboat,

      I know that feeling of going though periods of thinking all is going well, and hoping it will stay that way only to be brought back to reality with a crashing bang. Those sneers, comments, nasty words to name but few never seem to fail in raising their ugly head..

      I have been living though the exact experience for more years than I care to remember, the more I hope that things will get better, the worse they actually become.

      It’s a cycle, a very cruel and vicious one, I feel as though everybody’s life around me is moving on and mine is just static, I feel so trapped in a world with nothing to look forward to and no light.

      I can also relate to your mention of him withholding money while he spends freely on what he wants, it hurts and I cannot understand why someone would do this to another person just to make themselves feel better about themselves.

      I wish I could find words here to make your suffering go away, but sadly I can’t, I can only say keep yourself and family safe and get the support you need from organisations, friends and family. I’ve learned to cope the best I can though meditation and yoga, it gives me some help, but of course the main source of the problem is always there..

      I hope you will find peace and happiness in whatever steps you choose to take, keep well and good luck.

      • #132261
        Bananaboat
        Participant

        You’re so right and this cycle makes you question & doubt that cruelness, it’s like a madness. I found out recently when I phoned the police on him, he told all his family & friends, I told no one, and even worse none of them checked in on me and the kids. I assume I’ll have been made to be the bad guy but I posted previously how when I did try to talk to my own friends I felt dismissed, so that doesn’t help as I wonder who to turn to. This forum is a godsend. The moderator removed details of a special occasion but I know it will have a shadow over it, so need to find my own way to get through. I hope you are ok and staying safe too as you are living this same thing.

    • #132272
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      Its the good times the believeing they have or will change the laughs the love we so craze its all that which keeps us here I guess, without that oh and of course the guilt alot of us im sure wouldve left along long tine ago.
      Stay strong sweetie remember that plan of yours and keep working towards that. Much love x

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