- This topic has 3 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 months, 1 week ago by Caterpillarbutterfly.
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29th April 2024 at 1:05 pm #168229CaterpillarbutterflyParticipant
Another round of why I’m a ‘useless fat lump’.
Have subsequently spent the last 24h secretly comfort-eating. Starting to realise that I have a serious problem. I am now seriously overweight but his behaviour is making it worse, not better. So I am indeed useless, but he’s helped to make it this way. However, in his mind it’s all justified because I’m useless and ‘so fat he’s embarrassed to be seen with me’.
This is all just so awful. I’m in such a financial bind though. Child would really suffer if I left. But then it’s horrible for child to have to hear father calling mother a ‘stupid c***’ , as in another recent bout of nastiness…
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30th April 2024 at 3:44 pm #168254LisaMain Moderator
Hi,
Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation.You are not useless- you have described someone who is constantly chipping away at you, calling you names, making you feel less than. Its difficult to heal when you are in an environment like that- you deserve to be treated with love and respect.
You can access free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma at
Bloom. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries.Best Wishes
Lisa
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1st May 2024 at 3:30 pm #168278Sad and aloneParticipant
You aren’t useless at all, you just need some help from someone that actually cares about you. Is there anyone you can confide in? Not necessarily about his behaviour, I know how hard that would be, but about your concerns regarding your weight and comfort eating? Someone that could help you figure out a plan? Maybe a GP could point you in the right direction? Really feel for you. It’s hard enough dealing with abuse without having to try and overcome addiction as well.
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6th May 2024 at 9:15 am #168391CaterpillarbutterflyParticipant
It has been getting worse this week. We’re into daily name-calling now, being called fat and useless *all the time*. It’s fairly clear that he’s working himself up into a major rage. Goody.
Honestly, if I had anywhere else to go… but I can’t see how I would do it.
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