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    • #33783
      lilaclady
      Participant

      So just as I thought he’s back from his week away and expecting me to be welcoming him back with open arms telling him how much I love him. And because I am not, after all the pain and hurt he has caused me, off we go on another terrible weekend of him endlessly going on at me. Telling me how I blame him for everything, how I am cold, how I clearly don’t love him anymore how he needs to find someone who does. Accusing me of having another man, saying I have been making plans while he has been away. Suggesting we separate then when I agree being livid I suggested it. Saying he needs to find someone else who will love him because I don’t anymore so just LEAVE but you aren’t getting my money like you want and you aren’t taking our son. Endlessly going round and round in the same circle. He bought this book back from holiday he saw “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love” are you kidding me, there is a big minimise of my feelings RIGHT THERE. Like yes a good book if you are having “normal” relationship issues not in this cycle of hatred and anger. telling me he bought the book for me and these are some of the things you do. I said NO no YOU need to see that all that is happening here is the consequence of your bad behaviour and how much you have hurt me. And the sooner you can see that the better end of. I know now from the books I have been reading that none of that stuff would EVER help the scenario we are in with his anger abuse of me.

      I am trying to stay strong and keep to my truth! But you all know how hard that is like when they turn it all on you. Currently he is at his mums house, annoyed I didn’t come as he wants to have “family time” with me. Are you kidding?? Family time.

      I am now seeing the exit here I cannot do this anymore I need to leave… Planning on doing this as soon as is possible just need to find somewhere to rent. And bringing it up with him in therapy session so it’s a safe place to do that.

      now I just need to get through another terrible weekend with him doing all the usual…

    • #33787
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I was warned when I went not to let him know and I would strongly urge you to do the same. Please call women’s aid or the helpline and they can explain it all far better than I can.

      • #33788
        Silks
        Participant

        Hi Lilaclady,

        You are the first person I have written too on this forum. I was in a domestic violence situation for years, I gave my husband one chance in the very early years of our marriage when he pushed my head between the front car seats and tried to strangle me. I was so terrified that I jumped out of the car and refused to get back into it until he threw me the keys. It wasn’t far from our home after he accused me of looking at another man when we were out. He threw me the keys and I drove home letting him walk the short distance to the house. i thought I had a babysitter staying over who lived next door so i knew he wouldnt do anything to her.

        When I looked in the mirror the next day my neck had his fingerprints dug into it. I got my brother involved and he put my husband up against a wall and said if he touched me again he would kill him. We went for counselling and tried again. It stopped for a year and then it got worse and worse.

        I got away a long time ago and it was a struggle but I never regretted it for a minute. You need to leave him and take back your life.

        Silks

    • #33821
      nevertoolate
      Participant

      Hi Please don’t assume that telling him it’s over in a therapy session is necessarily any better. I thought a couples therapy session would be an emotionally safe place to tell my husband it was over but it wasn’t. He stormed out and went home, locking me out and then verbally abused me in front of the kids. Just get out when you can. Stay safe, love and hugs to you xx

    • #33831
      lilaclady
      Participant

      Thanks all just want out now and you’re right I have no idea how he would be if I was to tell him. Today we are in the being nice zone like nothing has ever happened. Can’t wait for this weekend to be over!

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