16th October 2020 at 6:26 pm #115271TrackerParticipant
So after (detail removed by Moderator) of zero contact and (detail removed by Moderator) months nearly since he left to go with another woman, my son says he come round (detail removed by Moderator) and wants to take out my daughter (detail removed by Moderator).
First of all I hate the way he can come in and out still as he pleases since he wont give me the key and I cant change the lock. Second of all just (detail removed by Moderator) days notice if that? What if I had plans (detail removed by Moderator) with my daughter? I have to drop everything cos he wants to take her to the park? Third of all I dont wanna see him and I am worried.
She said she doesn’t wanna go park but hes gonna think I’m turning her against him if she dont go. I cant stop him seeing her but he ain’t bothered with her or my son for (detail removed by Moderator) then out the blue hes here. My son dont wanna see him and hes old enough to choose. He has plans (detail removed by Moderator) that he wont change anyway.
I reluctantly told the ex dad that he is to text when he outside and my daughter will go down to him I said I want zero contact and my key back. I no I have no chance for the key or in fact the money he owes me from paying his (detail removed by Moderator) in my name and the debt from the (detail removed by Moderator) he stole and I brought back.
Hopefully he might stick to zero contact if he is planning on having his new gf with him or his sister then he may but if he is on his own he will want to come in.
Suppose I have to wait and see how it goes but I cant keep having him dictate when he wants to see her it needs to be mutually convenient but it’s hard when I’m trying to have zero contact with him or his family .
I have been feeling a bit better recently and am scared he is gonna bring me straight back down again but I cant stop him seeing the kids.
17th October 2020 at 8:13 am #115296KIP.Participant
Talk to women’s aid. He has left the property so now is a great time to get an occupation order preventing him returning. You can also get a non molestation order and tell him to go through the courts for access. You don’t have to put up with this. Talk to the police too. Leave your key inside the door so he can’t get access while you’re there. You need some legal advice too and most solicitors offer a free half hour session. Now is the time to act. Move all his belongings out to his family or a friend so he has no excuse to return.
18th October 2020 at 10:19 am #115322TrackerParticipant
Thank you for your reply.
He didnt show (detail removed by Moderator) so I think he said that to make my son think he does wanna see them when really he cant be bothered as he did come when he thought we would all be out but he doesn’t know my son has no (detail removed by Moderator) on (detail removed by Moderator). Or he is just trying to drive me crazy and mess with my head again making me think he is coming round. He may still come (detail removed by Moderator) but who knows?
I thought telling him to go court and restricting access would be a but harsh but I’m not being messed about all the time. Tbh I dont think hed even bother cos he dont with the child he had out of his affair a few years ago.
I will take your advice and look into an occupation or non molestation order and get a cab to drop the rest of his stuff to his dads so he has no reason to enter when noones in
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