Tagged: 

Viewing 2 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • #66518
      anotherlife
      Participant

      I can’t believe (even though I’ve read it’s classic behaviour) that we finally got to a stage where w would separate and he definitely said he would, to the next day when he denys that he said it! A long conversation and he said if we separate, he’ll stay at the house a see can fix the problems in the house, leaks, etc, and then sell it and both move on. Sounded a bit mad as no idea how we would live together with the children whole separating, but it was really late so we left it as I couldn’t talk any more.
      My own fault,it gave him time to think about things and then he’s trying to be extra nice to us all and have a few days out at the end of the school hols this week. Like a normal family. He’s swaying my decision and making sure I feel guilty and torn, I’m sure he thinks I’ve given in. I was so upset the other night bug he may have thought I was upset at us splitting, when I was actually upset because I knew he’d change his mind and try to weaken mine.
      I know I’m not stupid or naive bug it makes me feel that way. He thinks it’s ok to hug me but I don’t want him to touch me in any way. Ever.
      How do I manage to find the courage to tell him once & for all? I was so ready the other day butmentally weaker now as I’ve had to spend time with him, playing happy families!
      Should I ask a relative to come over, should I try alone? I don’t want to leave, the kids are happy here & even though we’ll have to sell and I’ll struggle forever, I want to finish it will with him, he’s my children’s dad but that’s all now, all those years we spent together seem like
      like a massive storm was looming. I have no sentiment towards him, just love for my kids, i have no job right now, health issues. Please, can anyone advise?
      I feel so much more mentally strong when I think it’s over, and my head feels so much clearer. But he’s really messing with my head.

    • #66520
      Iwantmeback
      Participant

      Hi there anotherlife. I get what youre saying. My OH and i had a heart to heart. Spoke about the practical stuff and what a weight was lifted from me thinking that was us on the road to splitting. Sadly fast forward a bit we’re still in limbo, hes still making me feel sick to my stomach, hes done somex stuff around the house too!!! As if that’s going to make us stay!!! He was doing something tonight and all i got was grief from him. I know its never going to be any different, it still doesn’t make leaving any easier though. Half w as y through the evening he went to help a neighbour eirh something
      Long story short neighbour dropped something of his which was repairable, did he lose it and shout at them…no. but i know if I’d done it my evening would have been hell.
      I have a way out now. Saw someone at WA, so i know for sure I’m believed and id be safe, in the wink of an eye. But I’m still switherin. What is wrong with me.
      The relief of thinking its over is amazing, so empowering.h hold on to that feeling. Youll do it someday,as will i.
      Keep strong sweetheart

      IWMB 💕💕
      Ps WA might be able to advise you on how to keep your home. They can organise a lawyer fir you to. Good luck
      Im going to see one soon to sort out where i stand legally.xx

    • #66535
      anotherlife
      Participant

      Thanks Iwantmeback. My husband has finally started doing diy stuff that’s years overdue! There must be a book or guide for them to follow, to mess with our heads! Mine is being almost genuinely extra nice to the kids for a change and mentioned getting a pet, which we’ve wanted for years but only he can decide… but I don’t want us to get one with things as they are! How selfish & sounds like trying to make sure we don’t go anywhere. So many things wrong with what he’s said & how he messes with my head! Keeps asking me if I’m ok & say a he loves me- I know he doesn’t & I’m not sayingbut back, I’m not messing with his head!
      We must stay strong somehow. I too felt relieved when I thought it was over, such a massive relief and I felt free! Know it was too early etc but back tracking the way he did is so unfair.
      I’ve spoken to a solicitor recently, I don’t think I’m tough enough to get him out. I know he’s playing the guilt cards! But one day, somehow, I’ll find strength.
      Keep going, it’ll be worth it for us both one day 💗 xx

Viewing 2 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditions │ Privacy & cookie policy │ Site map │ Protect yourself online│ Media │ Jobs │ Accessibility Guide

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content