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So he was arrested, then he’s bailed somewhere else, he’s caused chaos and now he’s sorry and he’s changed and he’s not gonna give up on us. I have no energy for this anymore. He’s said so much which is also breaking his bail. Plus he’s saying things I’d have loved to hear before this. I’m still going forward but I’d be lying if it didn’t effect me. I’m now starting to miss him. I miss his abuse. It’s so quiet now and I thought do I miss him but I realise it’s the madness I miss cos I knew what was what then. Now it’s silence
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Report his contact and keep reporting his contact. You miss what was normal to you which was his abuse. Remember that abuse caused terrible damage to you and through that your kids. It’s human nature to miss what’s normal to us so make a new healthy normal but please report every incident of bail breaches. Abusers who breach lawful orders are extremely dangerous because they’re showing they have zero respect for the laws boundaries as well as yours. Do what you have to do to get through this next withdrawal phase. It’s like a drug habit. Lie to yourself if you have to. It’s how I got through. Telling myself it was a temporary separation or that he was away doing his hobby. Keep going with baby steps and concentrate on you and your kids. He’s only sorry he’s been held accountable x
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You hit the nail on the head when you said ‘he’s saying things I would love to have heard before all of this. So why didn’t you? Sorry if this sounds harsh but they know when to turn it on and off like a tap to get what they want.
Be kind to yourself, yes you’re used to more drama and chaos but like Kip says it was an experience that became everyday life you. I spoke to women’s aid today about an incident that happened last week where he head butted me. When asked why I didn’t phone the police I replied I didn’t think it was that bad because that’s what I’m used to and actually I find the mental abuse far worse, You are used to it too. We dust ourselves off and get on with life but what kind of life is it really? It’s not, it’s an existence. Stay strong, you deserve more 💕 -
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