He’s being all fairy tale…

[Nothinglikeme]

So, after telling my H I want a divorce after he’s spied on me with technology, he’s super nice and accepting but… says we should write wills, just in case something should happen to one of us while this is all going on. The he goes off for a few hours, implied threat present. Then he comes back and we have the most fairy tale conversation about how we’re gonna do this perfectly and how all he wants is for me to be happy and that in turn will make him happy, how he wants to find someone else and wants me to do the same. He was emotionally abusive our whole relationship until he beat me up X years ago. Feeling very unsettled, but also feeling willing to accept it all. On my guard.

[KIP.]

Hi, please get in touch with your local women’s aid. You really need support untangling yourself from this situation safely. Spying on you with technology is illegal so you may want to make a statement to the police and disclose your history of abuse, even if it’s only so they can put a marker on your home and come quickly when you call. My ex did exactly what yours is doing and it ended with him arrested for assaulting me. These men don’t go quietly and yes the talk of Wills is to unsettle you. He’s fishing to see if this is leverage he can use against you. If you are still vulnerable to feeling guilt and responsibility for him. Please know he is not your responsibility. My ex was all reasonable at first, making out that he had moved on one minute then begging for a second chance, offering to get help, threatening, crying, pleading, bullying. All in the same conversation. You can not negotiate with an abuser. Get some good legal advice, most solicitors will offer a free initial consultation. Abusers are liars so do not believe a word he says. You definitely should be on your guard. This is the most dangerous time for Women when trying to end the relationship. In the past we have always given in to their demands to keep the peace. This time if you don’t give in, he will punish you. He cannot lose control, at any cost.

[Fudgecake]

Hi,
As KIP said, please get in touch with WA and also consider disclosing this to the police. Do you have any family or friends you can talk to about this? You shouldn’t have to cope with this on your own. He is threatening you in a non direct way and he could turn nasty very quickly. I’d have a bag packed and all important documents to hand incase you need to go fast. Think of your safety and don’t trust him at all.

[Iwantmeback]

Hi why on earth would he bring up the subject of wills while all this is going on, that’s quite threatening to me. definately talk to someone from WA, get a safe exit plan in place even if it’s going somewhere for a few days until he’s received the letter of intent for divorcing. I’m in the process of moving out as much of my personal things, before that happens. Copies of joint paperwork, marriage certificate, copy of his recent P60. Talking of wills is just creepy. Take care and be safe. Don’t underestimate him.
IWMB 💕

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