- This topic has 2 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 10 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
I’ve told my ex I wanted to end things. The cycle of abuse needed to stop and I’ve made my mind up.
It’s really difficult because I’m not a nasty person but I’m having to be. He’s trying everything to hold on to me. He’s told me he’ll look for somewhere to live but I’m not sure he is.
He’s gone from blaiming me, using the terms ‘legal rights’, guilt tripping me and now I think he’s love bombing me. He’s really pushing my boundaries but I know I can’t go back as the abuse will probably get worse, I’m enjoying my newly found freedom and I want a better life for me and my children.
I feel totally detached from him but I’m worried it’ll get worse before it gets better and I may have to take drastic action.
His love bombing is making me feel partly guilty because he’s trying but I know it’s all lies and manipulation. I feel like I’m fighting this and it’s exhausting and worried I’m not strong enough.
-
Hi Undeckedkitten,
I here you loud & clear on this as well as many other things!!!
I’m going through some of these same things as well currently. How did he take it, meaning your Ex- when you told him you wanted to end things with him?? How did he react to that?? I’m just curious because , recently I went cold turkey with no contact with mine, so of course, he has been blowing my phone up with texts and I finally caved in and started talking with him. I think I caved more easily than usual because he started Love-bombing me again not to long after I went no contact with him, as he is very persistence& persuasive!!! so your & my situations at the moment are very similar!!! I should of blocked him, so I would have not been tempted to respond!!! I though I was strong enough to not do so but I finally did after he repeatedly blew up my phone with messages!!! Mine does the same thing to me, It goes from love-bombing, to blame shifting, guilt tripping me, ect… Then back to love-bombing again, so I feel guilty also because , I say to myself, well he is being nicer and seems like he is putting more effort in again wanting to buy me dinner, just being nicer in general, ect… but then I say to myself what are you doing, this is just a show he is putting on and I feel dumb and ridiculous because like you I know it is all lies and manipulation, but then wind up falling for it again, even though I know it all Lies!!! I feel so Foolish!!! I think he thinks he can get to me because I really don’t have any family or friends, just my son & I, that’s it, so there for I am more vulnerable and its easier to get to me because I have no one & he know that !!! I have made up my mind also , you, I & All these ladies on here deserve so much more than what we are getting from our abusers!!! I am afraid to tell him that I don’t want to be with him anymore weather it is in person on the phone, text, ect… as I don’t thing that would go so well in my favor!!! I feel no matter what I say or don’t say will incriminate me for further future abuse in some fashion!!!I know every person reacts differently to different things, that’s why I was wondering how your ex responded to you telling him it was over!!! I just don’t want to fall back into the cycle and fall back into the trap, in the long run it will be the same, it always is !!!
-
It didn’t go the way I expected (detail removed by Moderator) but it did end badly.
He messaged me saying he’s going to his (detail removed by Moderator) and he has left something for me (detail removed by Moderator). I told him I knew what he’d left me and I’m not accepting them as it’s definitely pushing my boundaries.
His messages then flipped from ‘(detail removed by Moderator)’ to ‘(detail removed by Moderator)’ ‘(detail removed by Moderator)’ to ‘(detail removed by Moderator)’ ‘(detail removed by Moderator)’ and his favourite ‘(detail removed by Moderator)’.
I stood my ground and ended up blocking him. I woke up this morning and had a clear vision of what I wanted to do so I contacted the police, I came into a station and told them mostly everything. I’ve not made an official statement but they’ll put it on their records. Its simultaneously the scariest and freeing thing I’ve done. I never wanted this but I was stupid to think he’s go quietly.
He’s on (detail removed by Moderator) so I’m staying out until I know he’s gone and he’s staying blocked.
It’s so hard but I had to because he was getting into my head again.
It’s horrible because they’ve slowly chipped away at us until there’s nothing left.
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
