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    • #123968
      Catjam
      Participant

      The date I had planned to leave he suddenly announced he has booked off. I haven’t told him I am off too that day because that was the day I was going to escape. I am floored now. If I tell him I am off too he will want us to spend the day together but Where I work will be closed that day so it’s not like I can change anything. Feel sick

    • #123974
      Scapegoat
      Participant

      I can only imagine how you are feeling. Having found the strength to organise things for yourself and take the plunge to leave, you must now be on high alert. Do you employers know? Can you talk to them and arrange another day off as well? I don’t know if you had removals etc booked or other people involved but I’m guessing people will be quick to support you if you explain. Hope you find a solution, stay strong 💕

    • #123989
      Watersprite
      Participant

      Has he got wind you are going? They pick up on things. Can you go sooner? If you are at risk or afraid call police they can assist. Have you got a support worker from women’s aid they can help with safety planning. Keep your phone charged and stay vigilant. Safety first whether you go sooner or later you are going to do this – but safety first. Keep going and planning -‘don’t tell him. You’ve got this x*x

    • #123992
      Catjam
      Participant

      He knows I am going sort of. I told him I needed space and asked him to leave but he claims we can only get better if we stay together. It’s taken a while to get the keys so we have settled into a new routine. I have to keep reminding myself that I need to leave.
      I think I had it worked out in my head that it’s thrown me. I have decided to get out what I can then hopefully come back for the rest while he is at work at a later date. As long as I can get the important stuff then I will just have to forget the other bits.

    • #124005
      ISOPeace
      Participant

      Oh Catjam it must have been a heart sinking moment when you found out he had the day off. Building yourself up and then having him even getting in the way of those plans must feel so demoralising. It’s totally normal to feel thrown when there’s a change to a stressful plan. It sounds like you’re staying strong and taking a practical approach.

      Since I left my husband keeps saying we can sort things out together at home…. I keep remining myself that all his thoughts and words are from the mind of somebody who believes it’s ok to be abusive if I don’t do what he wants. His idea of sorting things out is not the same as mine. His idea of a good relationship is not the same as mine. I’ve stopped trying to defend myself or get him to see my perspective because it’s pointless. I’m not sure you needed to hear this last paragraph as it sounds like you’re already decided about leaving.

      Sending love xxxx

    • #124020
      Catjam
      Participant

      Hi, no I totally get what you mean. I initially asked him to leave and he says no as we need to work together to fix things and lists all the things he has done to prove he has changed.
      I just have to accept that I am going to have to walk away with less stuff and hope I can get it at a later date.

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