This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  savingthestars 3 weeks, 4 days ago.

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  • #94724
     savingthestars 
    Participant

    Christmas has been fun. my youngest had (removed by moderator); i was told (removed by moderator), by him. (removed by moderator). Child services call me, and tell me he should have told me that the child had gone to hospital. (removed by moderator) I want to send him a message asking W*F happened but i know that he will say i am being abusive and such, and not tell me.

    I am trying not to think that he purposefully hurt the child. I mean, mr squeeky clean has been physically violent in the past, but i am not sure whether he is like that now. funny that my current boyfriend said OY at dinner table and the child bursts into tears thinking my boyfriend is going to hurt them.

  • #94896
     Lisa 
    Main Moderator

    Hi Savingthestars,

    Sorry to hear about all of this. We don’t often hear of perpetrators ‘getting better’ so it’s unlikely that your ex has stopped being abusive. Sometimes when perpetrators have been physically abusive in the past that may stop the physical side of things (especially if they realise they can get in trouble with the police for that) but the emotionally abusive/ control behaviours tend to escalate.

    Have you got any support in place from your local domestic abuse service? They might be able to give you some support/ advocacy with social services if you need. They also sometimes have access to children’s/ young people’s support as it’s clear your ex’s behaviour has affected your children. You could have a look for their contact details here: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

    Take care,

    Lisa

  • #96237
     savingthestars 
    Participant

    Thanks, I have realized my youngest has been affected by his behavior, as the rest of us have. I have had to contact him regarding the kids. I mean asking him to make sure kids are kept away from allergens. Or, things I need to communicate about be it we have shared care, which to me is demented. He has been on one of these courses that are meant to fix them, but I think its more he doesn’t do it to me because he knows I am going to go to the police. I am now trying to get help for my youngest… I am fighting myself to contact him, and ask him whether he will be honest about his input to this point, but I feel its a waste of time. really dont know what i’m supposed to do tbh. On recovery toolkit, which is helpful enough atm

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