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    • #115813
      Wateringcan
      Participant

      Hes out of sight but not out of mind. Ive been out the relationship a while now yet his voice is in my head every single day. I still watch what i do and how i am in certain situations. I still dont wear make up or do my hair or treat myself. I still look in the mirror and pull myself to bits. I still question if im a good enough mum to my children. I still get the anxiety and the low moods quite often. I dont want to be around people and i keep contact to a minimal with most people. I hide myself away and just want to not be seen. I cant sleep and when i do hes also there. And its not just the bad things that pop up i have dreams of all the good times too. I cry daily and i question myself on what i did to make him be like this. Ive told everyone and myself that i dont love him but i also dont know if that’s the truth too. I dont trust myself i dont trust people dont trust situations and im always dreading the next day. I feel like im not over the relationship or the abuse and im still living it even tho im far away from it. I dont want to feel like this anymore and i have had a lot of professional help but im still in a bubble. My mind doesnt switch offits ticking constantly with something im exhausting im scared im drained and i cant enjoy my life or family because of this. I dont know the point in this post i just felt like i had to write something down and this is the first place i thought to put it. Im sorry

    • #115814
      Watersprite
      Participant

      It’s still early days. Be gentle with you… go no contact if not already. I had to shift my mindset as was becoming my own worst enemy due to his voice in my head. It’s baby steps and being your own best friend and celebrating every small triumph – like paying a bill yourself deciding what to wear solving a problem reaching out for support providing a safe home. Be your own best friend – his voice his lies will fade in time x

    • #115820
      KIP.
      Participant

      Just wanted to say that all that you’re going through is normal after escaping abuse, it’s your brain trying to sort through the abuse and it will pass. Just takes time. Healing from Hidden Abuse is a good book to read x

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