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    • #98656
      Goingthroughit
      Participant

      Still believe the relationship is over because of me it’s like I downplay all what he does please tell me the truth ladies when I write it down I know well I’m sure it’s him but I just need reassurance
      1.im not allowed nail varnish colour on hands
      2.no male friends
      3.i have to dress a certain way
      4.in public he gets slightly angry because I’m loud (I talk loud) he says to respect myself.
      4.if I ask him to bring me home food he normally moans and says things like stop eating or I thought u wanted to lose weight.
      5.he would prefer if I didn’t work if I talk about it he has says he wants his wife home and not around men.
      6.subtly starts arguments then when I retaliate I get the silent treatment or told I’m to much stress for him.
      7.he has hit me (I always hit back)
      8.he hates my mum and if he has to come to her house if I’m there just to pop in he says I should be at home with our child she’s growing up outside her home and I’m not a woman of the home,but he seems to forget he is not there my mum lives on my corner we are a very large close family he just wants me home cooking waiting for him looking at the walls.
      The list goes on I have been with him so many years I have done everything I can for him and all he says is I have given u a child.
      Anything in this relationship including the marriage I have felt like I had to beg for it including the marriage that my mother wasn’t allowed to attend might i add.
      We are divorcing but only because this time I feel I’ve let him go because I can’t do this anymore he ignores me and treats me like he is superior to me sometimes I think he is deaf but it’s just how he treat me and people he don’t like
      I am hurting I’m scared to be alone and tempering all the good times and feeling like this is all my fault because years ago I spoke to my ex and he has never forgiven me
      Should I remain strong and carry on with the divorce he is not going to change he doesn’t even admit it he says if he does anything bad I must have pushed him to do it

    • #98709
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi there, I wanted to some some support tonight. It is really not your fault. Abusers will often blame the other person or make excuses for their behaviour or try to blame the other person. Although it is difficult you are right to accept that things won’t change and you deserve better.

      Do remember, that your local domestic abuse service will be able to offer some ongoing support if you aren’t already in touch with them. You can find their details here. You could also access some support through the Live Chat

      Best wishes

      Lisa

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