10th December 2015 at 11:58 am #6036whizzy11Participant
He is on bail for harrassment and the police have said his phone has been sent off today and it should take 8 weeks. They will then decide whether to charge him on not. As the bail conditions specifically don’t include the gym we both attended I have been having to do a 70 mile round trip to train (its not a normal gym it’s quite a specific one) and everyone is busy as it’s Christmas party season so I haven’t seen any of my friends that go there (the only people I know in the town I live in)
It also turns out he has a new girlfriend. He has already posted a picture of them together, someone thought they were doing the right thing by showing me (he never posted a picture of us together the whole time we were together even though we were engaged) I realied after I left that we went on holiday and there isnt one photo of me or us, just him and some people we talked to.
There were loads of comments saying how lovely they look together and how pretty she is. It’s completely thrown me. I have no desire to be with him, I know he will cheat on her eventually and it will all start again but I still feel sad about it all and if I am honest jealous of her, she has the guy I met in the beginning and fell for before all the abuse. How has he found it so easy to move on, I feel broken from the break up even though it was my decision due to the abuse. I also feel a bit cynical that part of it’ for show so that if he does get charged he can prove he has a ‘normal relationship’
He still gets to go to the gym, to the christmas party etc where all my friends will be whilst I am left driving miles to train with strangers and trying to pick my life back up and not stress about whether they will charge him.
Sorry I am not sure it makes any sense but I needed to get it out so to speak.
10th December 2015 at 3:46 pm #6046LisaMain Moderator
Welcome back to the forum.
It is completley understandable that you are finding it hard seeing your ex with a new partner so soon and i imagine you are feeling a bit isolated as you are unable to train and see your friends locally beacuse of him. This new relationship may be all smiles and showing off to the world now, but you are right that he will end up treating her the same way he treated you.
Just wanted to show you some support at this difficult time.
Take care and keep posting
11th December 2015 at 9:50 am #6056MardiParticipant
Please don’t let this guy get to you. It’s all an act, deep down I’m sure he loved you and felt something for you in the first place otherwise you would never have got together. I think men just move on quicker than women but deep down he wouldn’t just forget about you completely. But do remember you are so much better off without him. In time you will not even care if he has a girlfriend or not. You’ll look back and think, ‘What did I ever see in him?’ He will do the same abuse to somebody else believe me. You don’t deserve to be abused by any man, you only deserve the best. You are so much better off without him. Don’t worry, the depression will pass in time, it WILL GET EASIER love Mardi xxxx
18th March 2016 at 5:27 pm #11789whizzy11Participant
So I thought I would give an update, they didn’t charge him. The cps did tell the police to issue an anti harassment order though. He is now engaged and moved back to the same town where I live.
Life is getting a bit easier day by day. I no longer madly scramble to lock the front door, I have been out a couple of times in town with friends and managed to relax and I am starting to appreciate the small things and pick myself up emotionally day by day. I have booked 2 holidays and am saying yes to invites I get to see friends and family and no longer hiding away.I am still having counselling and hypnotherapy which continues to help.
I get asked a lot when I am going to start dating but I am no where near ready for that and by surrounding myself with some amazingly strong and inspirational women has made me see I am worth a lot more than I ever gave myself credit for.
I am not fixed but I am further along the journey than I could have hoped for some months ago.
18th March 2016 at 6:38 pm #11795SerenityParticipant
Well done, Whizzy. You sound amazingly strong and courageous.
Keep on going x*x
18th March 2016 at 9:32 pm #11803lover of no contactParticipant
So glad you’ve managed to let go and move on with your life. Sounds like you’re really living life to the full. Great to read your inspirational post, gives hope to all the ladies who are where you were in December, trying to move on emotionally from the abusive relationship.
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