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    • #83313
      Peacethroughhealing
      Participant

      I type this is tears. It’s always going to be a struggle with him. He will never change and will always be one step ahead. He has used me and made a fool of me basically. He used me to get work and I feel so sad about that. He used to want to see me all the time and then he got work and he dropped me like a hot cake. I got him work through my reputation and he’s now flying high and leaving me behind. There is no justice or karma at all in life. Fell so low and down this morning, no point in things really. I loved him so much and we were supposed to be a team and he destroyed it and ruined it all. I won’t get over this now. It’s too painful and I really hate him for that.

    • #83318
      AlwaysSorry
      Participant

      Sending you a really big hug, PTH. It sounds like you are at the point where you know this will never be what you wanted it to be and that you can clearly see how he abused the love you gave him. Despicable behaviour, he treated you awfully and took advantage of you. It’s good to hold onto the truth about him, to remind yourself how his actions make you feel. He doesn’t deserve your love, sweetheart. He absolutely destroyed what you could have been and it is him that should be living with the consequence of his actions. But as we know, these men rarely care for the consequences do they.
      It will get less painful. There will be reprieves in the grieving. It’s truly unfortunate that because of work you can’t go complete no contact as that is what will really help you. But it will get better, it’s completely unfair but we know his history don’t we. He will mess up again and karma will eventually catch up with them, I believe so.
      Be kind to yourself today, every day. Treat yourself well. Between the lines I can see a woman who knows she most certainly has value and worth. Hold on to that and know you deserve so much better than this x

    • #83349
      Peacethroughhealing
      Participant

      I am really really struggling today. This feels like it has been my worst day to be honest and I’ve been a mess. Couldn’t eat and I didn’t sleep well which I know hasn’t helped. I have friends but they have their own lives and I can’t rely on them to take me out of this pain. I’ve called Breathing Spaces before and to be honest I’m exhausted with it as I keep talking about the same things and I know in my head it’s all wrong. Anyone out there tonight to try and drag me out of this with their words because the pain is so much.

    • #83356
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Peacethroughhealing,

      I just wanted to show you some support. You have been doing so well. Sadly we know that abusive people will use any contact as a way to put you down and make you doubt yourself. Abusers want control and only by having as little contact as possible (ideally no contact) can you fully start to focus on you and heal. Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to feel low if you want to and just think that tomorrow is a new day. Do something nice to make yourself feel good and perhaps try to get a good nights sleep so you can have a better day tomorrow.

      We are all here for you so please keep posting.

      Kind regards,

      Lisa
      Forum Moderator

    • #83357
      Peacethroughhealing
      Participant

      Thanks Lisa, what I can’t get my head around is how he could change so much as he was never like that at the start. I just feel used and made a fool of. I loved him so much and he has just destroyed what we had. I can’t understand how someone can change like he’s done.

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