He’s so cold

[Bananaboat]

I’m finally out and in my new home with the kids. It’s been a crazy journey and boy is FOG real as you’re trying to leave, but now we’re out a huge weight has been lifted and the kids, even the dog, are so much more relaxed. Time to heal and thank god for this forum, you are all amazing!

The thing that has surprised me the most is his coldness towards me. It’s like I’m a stranger, in fact worse than a stranger as he’s overly nice to them in the street! It’s almost like our relationship never existed and our shared home/belongings didn’t matter. I’ve had to sort so much alone, pay for everything and empty the property without any input. Has anyone else experienced this?

I’m also finding the lies have increased especially related to money he owes and childcare. I guess it’s just the latest method of abuse & control. I also feel strangely numb since leaving – is this normal? Will it suddenly hit me at some point? Are there any tips for getting through this next bit? xx

[Watersprite]

Well done for getting you and your kids out bananaboat that’s amazing! You are so brave. Re cold yeah sit back and watch him he will pull a range of tricks abuse often escalated on leaving but you can see him for who he is now all the FOG clears. In the end yes we have to do it alone but in time that will make you feel so proud of yourself and you should be! Please do reach out for support tho cos it’s a journey you are on. But yes kids dog all feel the relief everyone can be themselves at last
My tips – be kind to yourself eat healthy drink water go for walks hug those kids and don’t expect too much of yourself. Repeat. Some days will be good some terrible but you have freed yourself and slowly you can step into the life you deserve – take your time. xxxx

[Bananaboat]

Thank you ❤️. It’s kinda strange to see how he acts now, and you’re right interesting to watch. Funny you should say about looking after myself as I’ve realised two things, firstly how much sugar I was eating especially being stuck upstairs for months every evening and secondly, how lovely it is to go for a walk. I’ve suddenly got evenings and weekends again which I knew he dominated but I hadn’t realised how much I’d lost. I’ve had the odd day when I miss him but actually him being this cold is helping with that. Thanks for your help xx

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