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    • #8214
      SilkyHalide
      Participant

      He’s punishing me for every decision I ever made. Even the ones I thought we made together. Some he has brought up before and never matched my recollection.
      some are a shock to me and some just don’t make sense. Is he convincing himself I’m wrong to not feel bad about himself?
      Why didn’t I leave him sooner if what I say is true? How I wish I had. How I wish I’d not gone back in the summer when the meds made me feel I could have the life I wanted and everything was going to be great. When I thought I was doing the best for everyone else and he was changing.
      Actually what he did was appear to change but put massive wedges between me and my daughter. this is what made me realise I had to go and stick to it this time but the damage already done and I feel I’ve lost everything but a cold and empty house I’ve not wanted for a long time. Maybe I should have left the house and to hell with my equity?
      Everyone told me don’t leave the house.

    • #8218
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      HI SH

      I feel the same as you, you aren’t alone.

      We trauma bond with them so we are unable to leave, I’m stuck in a house I hate till it sales and I have no communication with my daughter and very troubled with my son thanks to him.

      We have to get our share of the equity so we can start again, at my age I can’t make a mistake.

      He is now punishing me because he has (detail removed by Moderator) but its my fault….

      And yes I’m scared that I do things he won’t like but I refuse to curl up and die. We deserve a better life not the one we had/have.

      Good luck with your future.

      FS xx

    • #8232
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      Hi silky
      Stop listening to him and his none sense he is still playing games . Go no contact on him and get some peace it was not you it was him
      That’s what abusers do
      Big hugs x*x

    • #8268
      SilkyHalide
      Participant

      Thanks,
      I can’t go no contact as my DDs are with him.
      He won’t respond to emails if he doesn’t like anything or doesn’t want to answer things.
      He says I have to find a way to be able to talk to him as emails aren’t acceptable.
      He’s turned them into mouthpieces for him too. And they don’t want to see me. I’m staying strong but I’m hurting too. I thought I’d made progress with the girls last week and he keeps getting all three of us emotionally wound up and I can’t keep things level and end up loosing them more, or that’s how it feels.
      Just spoken to one and I can’t stop crying.

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