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    • #124028
      Neueranfang
      Participant

      I’ve been out (detail removed by moderator) now and have got him on block but he is literally sending me hundreds of emails and I can’t just ignore them.I will read the emails but not reply.Then I feel bad all day.He is also getting to me when face timing the children.The whole situation is so messed up.He is obviously blaming me for the breakdown of our relationship and he keeps saying (detail removed by moderator) and left my life and his family and everything behind.He is right.I have lost everything and I’m heartbroken but I left because I deserve a life without abuse.He doesn’t understand and keeps telling me (detail removed by moderator)  (he hated me going to work) and so I can buy new clothes (he didn’t want me to look nice or have nice things).I know I did the right thing but he keeps telling me what he did wasn’t that terrible and I should have had some respect for my man and he can’t believe I can hurt him like this and leave him in the gutter.I do feel sorry for his loss and I am hurting too but he will never change and life was unbearable.The physical abuse didn’t happen often but I still ended up with a deformed (detail removed by moderator) due to two mild fractures that never got looked at.But the scars from the emotional abuse are much worse.I don’t feel free.I still feel suffocated and controlled 😢x

    • #124071
      Darcy
      Participant

      Hi beautiful Angel,
      I understand that it is hard to get this man out of your head, however you know deep down this is the best thing and as hard as it is you just need to be strong and set clear boundaries. Love is kind and gentle and considerate… this doesn’t sound like your relationship, and if he’s talking about respect, where is him respecting you.
      Reading the emails does not serve you so just delete them. No contact is the quickest way to move forward, as hard as it is in the beginning in the long run its best thing to do. He’ll wear himself out if he’s not getting a response.
      Turn all the focus and attention onto yourself, you are just wasting time and energy focusing on him. Start to work through how you feel, you can’t do this with him in your thoughts all the time.
      And if you are really struggling love him from afar and know that the situation you are in will not only benefit you in the long run but him as well, so by letting go you are doing the best for not only you but him… sometimes looking at this way is a bit gentler if you are struggling.
      You did the hard part which was leaving so give yourself some much deserved credit for that and recognise how strong you are
      Sending you love and support
      Darcy xx

    • #124099
      Neueranfang
      Participant

      Thanks for your kind words Darcy.I know I did the right thing by leaving.I actually met his mum and sister (detail removed by moderator) and they also reassured me that I did what’s best for me and our children.It’s still sad that he couldn’t be ‘the one’ but I have to let go.I don’t even know if I still love him.I haven’t had the chance to figure that out as he hasn’t left me alone and I just feel harassed.He is now threatening with suicide.It just doesn’t seem to ever stop.One thing after the other.I left because of the unbearable stress and pain but things don’t seem to get any better xxxx

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