He’s taken my belongings

[Footballfan1]

So I arrived home (detail removed by Moderator).
It’s only stuff but I feel violated and useless to stop him.
Police said it’s not theft as he is joint on the tenancy.
I paid for it all years ago, no receipts.
He wasn’t interested in (detail removed by Moderator).
He’s got nowhere to store it as he hasn’t even got a home yet, let alone (detail removed by Moderator) so it was pure spite.
Feeling really tearful today xx

[Watersprite]

Hi I’m not surprised you are upset – it is a violation it is continued abuse and they were your things . There is also so much injustice – he had no right to do that and the response from the police. It’s ok to cry – look after yourself do something comforting for yourself and keep posting if it helps x

[Footballfan1]

Thank you watersprite.
I feel very vulnerable now.
I believe he did this because he knows this time of year is very busy for me at work.
I’m feeling like my human rights have been breached.
Not just because of this, there has been other escalations recently xx

[Hereforhelp]

Footballfan1, this is so unfair on you and my heart aches for you as those are your things. I wonder with these men, do they sit down and think up what horrible things they can continue to do.. or is ut just their natural way of being, either way it is disgusting.

So sorry this has happened, I don’t have any advice,

Sending hugs ❤️

[Footballfan1]

Thank you Hereforhelp,

You are very kind and brave.
I have read your other posts.
I think they plot what to do next.
The thing that will hurt most.

Sorry, I’ve hit a pothole tonight.
I was so happy and confident even with uncertainty and legal issues ahead.
This incident had totally floored me because I can’t see how the police cannot do anything x*x

[Marmalade]

Hi, I’m so sorry to read this. Its awful to feel so violated and so powerless.
I thought I would reply to you about the police attitude.
I saw your post before it was moderated so know that the items taken were household items, not personal. As the house is in joint names, he could argue that the items belong to him or are joint property. Without proof of your sole ownership, there is nothing the police can do as it can’t be considered theft. If there is an occupation order/bail conditions that he is not allowed to come to your property, then you could ask the police to investigate whether there has been a breach. The difficulty is he could argue that a third party collected the items for him.
So, perhaps just a deep breath and make sure that other items are secure and not able to be removed. I am presuming he no longer has access to the house itself? If he does, then you may want to remove any valuables or significant items so that he cant take them.
Secure what is left and dont show him that his behaviour has affected you. He has probably behaved this way at least partly to hurt you, so dont give him the satisfaction of getting the reaction he wants. Hold steady to your course. Good luck.

[Footballfan1]

Thanks Marmalade,
What you say makes sense.
He does not have access to the property.
I’m installing cctv so at least I can see whats going on.
Even if it were a third party, they would be climbing into a secured yard and climbing back out again, not walking though an open entrance.
It’s crazy they can get away with this.
I’m trying my hardest to get an occupation order.
I had hoped to have it by now and if it had have gone though on time, it would have been a breach of the order him coming to the property.

[Bananaboat]

What an awful thing to do! I’m not sure if they plan these things or if their brains just lack that filter where normal people who have a passing thought of revenge think logically & say no, and never do it. I know it really hurts right now but when I left I actually struggled with belongings we’d shared and ended up throwing out so much stuff, ridiculous things like cutlery or towels because it reminded me of him & what he’d put me through, so maybe in a few days/weeks when the initial shock & hurt dies down you can see this into a positive way to restart afresh. He wants you to react and feel bad so don’t give him that xx

[Footballfan1]

Hi Bananaboat,

Your right he is trying to get a reaction out of me.
The children use one of the items taken, my youngest cried when he realised it was gone.
My ex saw him crying and wasn’t even bothered.

[Footballfan1]

I just realised he took more than I thought and I have receipts for some of it.
I’m logging it as theft now x

[StrongLife]

I had to leave my furniture and belongings behind. I could not go there to get it back as he had people watching the house etc. I got some more and have a full house of furniture etc. I lost some memorables. It took a while to get over.
I got out quickly and got very little. Ultimately it’s been replaced now.

[Footballfan1]

I’m sorry you couldn’t take your belongings Stronglife.
Its painful isn’t it.
I’m glad you replaced everything with time.
I also let my ex take some of my personal items to look through and he refuses to give them back.
I let him because I felt sorry for him and he acted like he was being reasonable for a few days.
I know now it was a con.

[Author]

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