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    • #124519
      Unsure2021
      Participant

      Hi I have never done this before and feel like I’m doing something wrong writing anything. I have recently left my emotional abusive ex of (removed by moderator) years. I found out he had threatened to kill my son among other things, it is hard to get by each day with the guilt and anger I feel towards myself for allowing this man to treat my son this way, the way he treated me should not have affected me to not see the way he treated my son. I am still getting phone calls, texts and emails I have blocked his number but he keeps calling off different numbers, I’m scared he will come round to the house as this is what he is saying. I want to keep all my children safe but can’t afford a lawyer I feel trapped, it’s my word against his and he is so good at making people see things his way.

    • #124554
      [email protected]
      Participant

      id be calling the police to let them know the situation. give them the heads up? what he has threatened is criminal i mean literally the police will take your side. tell them he is good at manipulating. will your son talk to them? i had to do this with my kid he attacked her and we went to the police – i was believed. please get in touch with the dv police and just say what youve said above. when were being abused its hard to see clearly and its very hard to parent. youll get through this xx

    • #124559
      Eggshells
      Participant

      Hi Unsure2021,

      Welcome to the forum, I’m sorry to hear of the circumstances that brought you here.

      Please contact your local dv charity for support. The help that you will get from them varies from place to place but hopefully they will be able to support you and advise you.

      It might be worth trying to find out if you can get legal aid.

      It’s all too easy to blame yourself for the abuse your child has suffered, I think many if us have been there. You cannot take responsibility for his father’s actions. He abused your son and you have now removed yourself and your child. That is such a strong and positive move.

      On some phones, you can block all unknown numbers. It might be worth googling it. In the meantime, don’t answer any calls from unknown numbers and keep any texts as evidence for the police.

      Take care.

    • #124572
      Unsure2021
      Participant

      Thank you for replying it’s nice to not feel like I’m crazy and like I’m overreacting. I have been in touch with the police but because it was a long time ago and no evidence like time, dates ect, they are not going to take a statement the police officer was nice and said he believed us and that he will be keeping it to help build a case along with everything else I told him. I’m trying to get my son to talk to someone but he doesn’t want to and I don’t want to push him but feel like he needs it.

    • #124591
      [email protected]
      Participant

      hi unsure its going to take time to build a case. it will also take a wee while for you to help your son see that he needs help. Barnardos might be a point of contact? my daughter became pretty distressed with contact and she had quite a number of sessions with a counsellor. the counsellor backed us later on down the line to for the legal side. the book when dad hurts mum has a chapter on how to teach kids to think more critically when it comes to this exact situation. this book is on amazon xx its actually a brilliant source for you.

    • #124680
      Unsure2021
      Participant

      Thank you [email protected] I haven’t been able to get through to child counselling yet will keep trying my eldest daughter and son definitely need to speak to someone. I’m at a loss as I have just been informed that my daughters can still see their dad and I can’t get a non mol order because I haven’t seen him face to face for 3 weeks. It feels like I still can’t protect my children from him because it’s All emotional and intimidation, so he can carry on messing with our daughters mental health. Sorry for going on it’s a rubbish day.

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