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    • #128088

      Hi all, so this is my first time on a forum. I’m a little nervous.. I’ll tell you abot about my story. So I have 3 children. I was with my ex for (removed by moderator) years. He was very emotionally abusive and physically abusive twice. It’s only been the last year I’ve gained knowledge of how abusive he actually is and ive started making a stand. It’s been a week no contact. I’ve started dreaming every night. Everyday I have so many thoughts like “how we could make it work” , “still walking on eggshells” even tho I do not want to go back and I have no need to be walking on eggshells now in my own home. I also feel guilty. But at the same time I know I didn’t deserve this and I deserve better. Does anyone else ha e theese mixed emotions ?? Sending you all love and light, take care

    • #128094
      Grey Rock

      Welcome. Yes. I did. It was easier after I found the strength to stay no contact as I then didn’t have the lies, gaslighting, excuses and false promises or crocodile tears and suicide threats to deal with. My goodness my brain was mashed by the time I got out. I had lost all confidence in my own understanding and ability to make decisions. So it took a while to start feeling sane again, let alone better. But now I feel like I’ve found myself again. I rarely cry (instead of all the time) and I’ve got my sense of humour back too. It won’t be like this forever. And you can weather this storm.


    • #128212

      Sending lots of support and positive thoughts your way.

    • #128224

      Hi Dreamingofahappierday,

      Welcome to the forum.

      Lots of the ladies on the forum will identify with those mixed emotions and that hope that one day he will change.

      Being out is a bit of a roller coaster in the early days as you try to grapple with and understand all of those mixed up feelings.

      Have you done any reading on abuse?

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