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    • #143407
      True2myself
      Participant

      Hey, it’s been a while since I last posted. Just wanted to say hi. I’m away from him now but he continues to abuse my children and I. I had a small win (detail removed by Moderator) that I can’t talk about here but yay go me! He doesn’t know yet so this will be interesting. Anyone reading this that’s still with the abuser, don’t give up hope. I’ve learnt things come in stages. I haven’t posted in here in long time but for those that recognise my name. Thanks for all your help. He was relentless and I ended up being admitted to a hospital so I got a break. If this happens to others please don’t be scared. I have more support now from professionals and a long time friend I met in this forum. Couldn’t have got thru it without them. I remember joining the forum and was so scared but it turned out to be the best thing I done

    • #143409
      Mellow
      Participant

      Hi hope you don’t mind me asking you have said you are away but he still abuses you and children how so?im trying to leave but have children I’m scared what will happen after I leave especially because I have children each day my head gets clearer about his behaviour I never even knew I was being abused for a long time I witnessed domestic abuse as a child so think this is how I normalised it so glad your in a better place and don’t tell him about your win it’s one of his business

      • #143410
        True2myself
        Participant

        Hey I’m sorry, just my experience. He goes through my children now, he wants us out the house, he won’t help financially, he tells them bad things about me, any opportunity to put me down he will. He tries to discourage us from our support system. He has a restraining order so can’t come direct for me. He can get in the house so sometimes I wake up and doors are open.

        But

        It’s still better than being with him. I’ll be real ok, it’s hard but soooo worth it. My children now laugh, a real laugh, not a stressed out laugh. My head is clearer to certain extent. I have severe c-ptsd and struggle but not as bad but I do sometimes think when I was with him I knew the signs and knew what was coming but now I don’t until its too late but I’m telling you this not to scare you but to let you know its normal to feel this way. Each day I get stronger, I’m not quite t there yet cos so got things to sort out but hopefully our future looks great. I took kids on holiday and we bonded which was much needed after being in abuse so long. Longgg marriage it was. Just concentrate on your kids when you’re out and try let lawyers deal with him. I’m learning that, I tried to juggle everything but now I realise I have to just concentrate on kids and let whatever he is doing be on the outside of our happiness 😊

      • #143411
        True2myself
        Participant

        He will find out about my win via a restraining order (detail removed by Moderator)

      • #143413
        True2myself
        Participant

        Don’t worry though just get help and supportive ppl like woman’s aid and it will be the best thing you done. Seeing my kids proper laughing just melts my heart and makes it worth it.

    • #143428
      KIP.
      Participant

      What a lovely positive post. Thank you for sharing. So many of us and our children are damaged by their behaviour and when we leave it takes a long time for all that to heal and change. Only good things now for you all. Power to you. It was your hard work that brought you this far 💕

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