3rd May 2016 at 10:50 am #16199deepblueeyesParticipant
Hello it’s been a while since I posted on here, life has been a roller coaster in the last 6 months. I’ve been a fool and tried restarting the relationship with my abusive ex but needless to say it didn’t last long. But feeling right back to square one. Not that I miss him, I don’t but now the abuse has escalated because I called the whole thing off. He is very angry, and yet again he is now trying to involve the police and SS and bring me down. I’ve been through this all before with him. I’m really down on myself why I even got persuaded that he had changed. He has changed tactics now as well, because he knows no one believes his lies, he using the fact that I went to visit him in prison and wrote to him arranging to restart the relationship. Now he telling SS that’s was the one chasing him (not the case) to be back in his life
When SS were involved before I felt strong and confident that I could move on without him. So they closed the child in need plan. Now since having contact again it’s been reopened now.
I’m fining it hard to understand myself why I fell for his lies and why I’ve now got myself back in this situation again. I’m so stressed over all this right now. The SW thinks I’m an idiot and that is true. I had come so far then blown it all because he give me some soft words and false promises and I believed it.
I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m going to come clean with the SW and tell her everything then get her to help me move forward for good. I’m so scared of what might happen with them though. He would love it if my daughter got taken into care, that’s why he ultimate revenge for him.
3rd May 2016 at 10:56 am #16200godschildParticipant
Hi You are e not an idiot at all, these men are so manupulative and put on false persona to get you back, it seems so many try to cause fear over children with SS to take revenge.
They can really put on such acts that they are changed so don’t blame yourself, work with social services tell them all of the truth,hope it all gets sorted out for you but dont think yourself an idiot
3rd May 2016 at 12:37 pm #16207deepblueeyesParticipant
Thanks for the message and yes that what they are good at manipulation.
When I went to visit him in prison he was the man I fell in love with all those years ago. When he was released he came to stay with us and I knew after the first night I had made a huge mistake. He got drunk and the old name calling and the accusations of sleeping around all started again. I asked him to leave and he wouldn’t. He eventually fell asleep. The next morning he apologised for his behaviour putting it down to freedom and alcohol. I accepted this reluctantly. Two days later it started again this time in front of our young daughter, I kept asking him to be quiet and he wouldn’t even though he could see she was upset. I asked him to leave again he refused, fell asleep again and yet again apologised the next morning. Same old life just like before. I told him to get out and don’t come back. He left but tried to return twice in that week and I wouldn’t open the door.
I realised I had been conned by him almost immediately and I now question my own mental health around this man. I don’t want him in my life anymore and I’m determined not to fall for his chat ever again.
But now I’m back to square one with SS and having to explain my actions to them. I made a promise that I wouldn’t let him back in our lives last year and I broke that promise and now I look like fool and they question wether I am able to keep my daughter safe! I’m even thinking about moving as a fresh start out of the area.
What I find incredibly hard to believe is how they can switch from being normal to evil with no apparent reason or provocation?
Here is a man who has now decided to punish me through my child and do his ultimate to have the child taken away, because he knows it would kill me. And this is the same man who hugged and kissed me just (detail removed by Moderator) months ago saying he wanted his family back and he would be a good man.
I just don’t see how they operate so callously.
3rd May 2016 at 12:54 pm #16215AyannaParticipant
Hi, sorry you have to go through this.
You are right in disclosing the full truth to the social worker.
You can then work with them very openly and take it from there.
I cannot imagine they will take the children into care. You want to move on and get him out of your life. If you cooperate with them there is no reason they should do this.
Even if the worst happens you can have the children back again after a while.
You know now that he does not change. No abuser changes. They manipulate us and others, but they do not change.
You will see that you are better off all by yourself with your children and the support of the services. x*x
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.