29th November 2018 at 2:26 pm #67883
Hi everyone i am new to this and was feeling anxious about posting anything. I have finally found the courage to put a little bit in.
I find it hard to tell people why i feel so down and hurt all the time, I was made to feel like this by someone i thought cared about me. Still being in my teenage years and being hurt mentally and physically by my now ex partner. He accused me of cheating, he cheated on me, he hit me when his temper was up but blamed it on his drug addiction. I have never been through anything like this and i now dont know what to do. I am constantly looking over my shoulder and shiver when people lift there hands.. i just dont know how to cope.
29th November 2018 at 3:26 pm #67887KIP.Participant
Hi and welcome, it took me ages to post too. I found it helpful reading other posts. What you’re feeling is perfectly normal as a reaction to being abused. It would be good if you could speak to your GP and perhaps get some good counselling. Short term your doctor may be able to prescribe something to help you with the anxiety. Talking to someone who understands is important when you’re ready. There is lots of support out there. Abuse thrives on silence so when you’re ready you could try the helpline on here. It took me a few times to speak but the ladies were lovely. You’re still very young and trauma can be very detrimental if not treated but the good news is you can recover and learn from it. Become wiser and stronger. Keep posting. You’re anonymous on here but if you feel you would like to send me a personal message, that’s ok too. Just keep reaching out. You’ve made a great start x
29th November 2018 at 4:29 pm #67893IwantmebackParticipant
Hi Sad…Girl, Welcome to the forum. Reaching out is very hard to do, so well done. I read posts fir weeks before i actually put my own up. I’m a good but stronger than i was, but i still live with my oh so have rubbish days too. It’s very hard to express feelings and something you can’t quite put your finger on(gut instinct). if you had bruises or black eyes they’e pretty self explanatory😔
Please know that you are NOT to blame for his behaviour. He chose to abuse you. Many users and drinkers dont abuse their partners. Look up the cycle of accuse as KIP suggests. Keep posting and reading on here. There is a lot of support available, we are here to listen to each other, give each other strength. Cheer you on and cheer you up. 💜
Youll get through this, just have faith in yourself.
29th November 2018 at 7:26 pm #67903
Thank you so much for all the advice, I have always blamed myself for his behaviour and felt like it was all my fault. I just need to find the confidence to go speak to a councellor or my GP but i am afraid of getting judged.
29th November 2018 at 7:43 pm #67906KIP.Participant
One of the things abusers do is make us believe it’s all our fault. That’s not the case. He chose to behave the way he did. He had control over his behaviour and decided to abuse you. That was never your fault. There is never an excuse for domestic abuse. You’re a victim in all of this. Nobody should judge you. My GP was excellent. My abuser told me so often that nobody would believe me, I started to believe that myself. It was such a relief when my GP told me she believed me. Looking back she had no reason to doubt my story. It was all in my head. Talking about it will help get your head straight. I was so ashamed for such a long time but it was never my shame. The shame was all his x
29th November 2018 at 9:44 pm #67921LisaMain Moderator
Welcome to the forum, you have been so brave to post today and i am glad you felt able to reach out for support. It can be really scary the thought of talking to a professional about what you have been through, if you were worried about speaking to your GP you could always try your local domestic abuse service or the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 first as these services are very specialist and confidential, you can call the helpline anonymously as you do not have to give your name if that felt better to you as a starting point.
It sounds like you have been through such a lot and its really normal to be feeling how you are, being in a very abusive relationship is traumatising, but there is support to help you deal with how you are feeling so you can start to feel safe and stronger again.
Take care and keep posting
29th November 2018 at 11:05 pm #67924
Thank you all so much 💜 I havent always been confident but it got worse the more i was told i wasnt. All my friends tried warning me, family members of both our families warned me but i didnt listen as i thought there could be something better soon..but i knew i had to get out as something made me click. All i feel is hurt and betryal and so low. Ive been trying things to keep my mind of it and i do need to talk to a professional and get it off my chest 😧 thank you all for such positive replys it really lifted my spirit a bit 💜💜
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