Hi I am new

[Eucalyptus]

Hi, I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing before I joined this site as I have always thought that what I am experiencing was not abuse. But I now know that I have been enduring financial and emotional abuse. I am at a stage in my life now where I am almost bankrupt, homeless, without friends or a social life and about to semi retire from the work that I do because I cannot afford to keep paying for advertising. All because I made a mistake (detail removed by moderator) years ago to be with a man that I eventually realised was a narcisistic selfish person. He also uses the silent treatment on me and has done for (detail removed by moderator) years. But I am a survivor and although I feel a little stronger and I am now having to walk away from all of my things as he does not want to sell the house.

There are no words sometimes for men like this, but it has put me off men for life.

[KIP.]

Hi and welcome. Have you spoken to a solicitor? He can be forced by law to sell the home if you have an entitlement there. Can you get him removed using an occupation order, or at least get your belongings into storage somewhere. Have you been in touch with your local women’s aid? You need to gather a support network round you.

[Eucalyptus]

Hi Kip and thank you for your reply. I have spoken to a solicitor and the solicitor has mentioned that he can proceed for a forced sale. Or go to occupation order if he becomes difficult. But I cannot afford a solicitor so they have asked me to get a litigation loan. Having googled this I have read some not so good stories that these types of loans can take most of the equity away and I cannot afford to have that happen as I need the equity to purchase a home. I would have to store my belongings as I would be relocating to the west country as my brother lives there. I will make contact with the local woman’s aid service.

I feel really stupid as I have always considered myself to be a savvy and alert person. But this has knocked me for six and I sometimes cannot function. I am fearful of the emotions that are attached to this type of cruel abuse.

[LadyofR]

Hello. I am a newbie too, so you are not that alone. I hear what you are saying and I can really relate to all of your experiences and problems. They seem similar to mine and a recognisable pattern in the truly appalling behaviours of n**********c psychopaths.
Is there anything I can help you with? I might have experienced something similar and be able to give some practical advice.

[PRETTYWOMAN]

Hello I am also very new and I am in a very very bad head space right now…I struggle to sit for long periods and I am pacing the floor constantly due to my n**********c abusive husband its bad.

[Eucalyptus]

Hello Kip, ladyofR, Prettywoman,

Thank you for your replies. Being in that difficult head space is disabling and that happens to me on a daily basis and I find it very difficult to function and do normal things. But i sometimes also find that if I do my hobby to which is crochet, that does help me a lot. Thank you for offering help. All of you are already helping by hearing me and understanding what I am going through. So thank you all for that.

I feel extremely stupid for having got myself stuck with this person. I have anxiety on a daily basis and this also stops me from sitting still so I go out for a walk with my dog. Prettywoman,could you access some meditative music from the internet as you don’t necessarily have to sit still to listen to music. I can deffinately recommend crochet but its not to everyone’s liking. You do sit still but it does relax your mind and is a very calming thing to do. Or maybe something else. Also I try to use positive affermations and repeat these daily. LadyofR, I can’t put any specifics on what to help with but if you have ideas that have worked for you then please do recommend. I seem to doubt my decisions a lot and this I find gets me no where or back to square one.

[Author]

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