15th November 2023 at 10:19 am #1631901234frParticipant
I’d like to introduce myself
My ex husband was physically and verbally abusive over many years, we are now divorced and my life has moved on in some aspects but still difficult as we share children
I’d like to help anyone if they want to chat
I never had the courage to tell anyone about the abuse and kept it all hidden for (detail removed by Moderator) years . I finally went to the police (detail removed by Moderator) years after the last attack having told my family the truth and he was charged with violence .
The last (detail removed by Moderator) years since we split and I told my family etc the truth have been so hard it’s untrue, but here I am older and now wiser and I’ve lived it and recovering from it and now feeling like I’m coming out the other side which makes me smile and think well done you did it , but inside I feel very sad the person that allowed a man to break bones, insults, degrade and try to destroy me . It takes courage and I’m happy to chat to anyone. I emailed the Samaritans in 2016 then panicked at the idea of anyone knowing the truth . Hiding the truth isn’t the answer and I only wish I’d reached out to a forum and found support and stared my life
16th November 2023 at 8:08 pm #163241LisaMain Moderator
Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story with us.
It sounds like you’ve made a lot of progress in your recovery. Your offers to talk to and support other forum users are very kind, I hope you find this to be a supportive place for yourself too.
Take care and keep posting,
18th November 2023 at 8:35 pm #163322BubzParticipant
Hi, you are very brave.
I’m in an abusive relationship at the moment. It’s more mental and emotional than anything else although he has grabbed me by the throat before and pulled my hair recently. We do share a young child who he has no boundaries with at All and he always plays the good cop as I’m the only one with boundaries. I have felt like he is trying to turn my son against me too over the past few months and it hurts really bad. Me and my son have the best time when it’s just us too but the minute he’s in the picture, my son doesn’t listen to me, he can be disrespectful at times meanwhile, the husband just sits there gloating and laughing.
I cannot find the courage to leave because I’m scared of the affect it will all have on my son. He adores both mummy and daddy but we just don’t work together. He has also recently started saying I have mental health issues and that my son is scared of me to try and deflect all of his abuse onto me. It makes me soo upset and angry because I am the softest and kindest mother going.
I just cannot find a way out. I cant take that plunge, I also feel guilty about leaving him because I know how much he adores our son but he also says he wil never leave him and if anyone needs to go, its me and I think that’s why he’s making up these things about me. I hope professionals will be able to see through his BS
18th November 2023 at 8:08 pm #163319swanlakeParticipant
I also kept a lot of secrets and feel sad at how long someone chose to abuse me, another human being.
I had an abusive childhood and then moved on to my abuser so it’s all I ever knew until a few years ago. I’m recovering and living my best life now.
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