Viewing 7 reply threads
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    • #10008
      Dolly
      Participant

      I don’t no were to start maybe (removed by moderator) ago when I was thin attractive confident popular independent and full of life and there’s now I’m over weight depressed a prisoner in my own home no friends and my family has given up on me because I take him back time after time . He mentally tortures me and so dose his family they come in my work threatening to kill me . He has smashed my car window and broke God nos how many phones but it’s the threats there constant he checks my phone my face book constantly acuses me ov everything even tho I don’t go anywhere he checks me down below too I feel worthless 😓 he spits in my face and gets me by the throat but I’ve always deserved it and pushed him to it .its used to be only mental torture but the violence is getting worse I got him out last night but he kept coming down banging on the door screaming through letter box he’s sending his family down he’s going to damage my car I’m so afraid I’m so weak and stupid I can never keep him out for more that a week and I give in and give up things are fine for a week then it starts again ! I’m so lost I have no one to talk to anymore they have all given up on me and I I have given up on me too 💔

    • #10014
      katielove
      Participant

      Hi, so sorry to hear what you are going through, Phone women’s aid and the police on 101. I found both to be hugely supportive. Start to keep a diary of everything he does and keep it somewhere very safe – that way you will evidence should you need it. He sounds like a very dangerous man. If he threatens you through the door again secretly record his threats. I hope you manage to stay safe but this is too hard to do on your own.

    • #10016
      Dolly
      Participant

      Thank you for your kind words x I have had police involved he’s been to court and I had an protection order in place to keep him away but once that ran out he wormed his way back x things are far worse now and I’m scared to get police involved again it was so embarrassing police cars on my front I felt I was to blame he made me feel I was blowing things out of proportion and was a drama queen 😓 I need the strength and courage to keep him out no matter what he says or dose im such a coward now he’s broke my spirit x

    • #10017
      katielove
      Participant

      Do not be embarrassed – he obviously needs a bit of a legal reminder. The police are fully aware now of coercive control and have a responsibility to help you. Just giving them a call will help you take some power back. They may well have unmarked cars if you are really concerned about that or you could go to the station instead. Of course he will make try to belittle your feelings – that is what abusers do. Stay strong and safe x

    • #10018
      Dolly
      Participant

      Thanks for your advise 😊 he has been out of the house now for 2 days I will start to keep a diary and try to record any threats I had never thought of doing that x maybe I can do it this time thank you x

    • #10035
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hi Dolly

      Welcome and hugs xx

      Have you contacted womans aid and the police. Both have been a great help to me.

      You may be able to get a non mol order on him if he’s assaulted you in the last 10 days. I hadn’t but I have been issued with alarms and door braise for my safety. But as he out of the house they can get extra locks for windows and doors.

      Your safety is the most important thing.

      The longer you are away from him the stronger you will be come. I couldn’t choose where to eat in a cafe at first let alone what I would eat.

      And no one deserves to be abused, don’t feel guilty about saying what he did its him in the wrong not you.

      FSx

    • #10056
      Jelly bean
      Participant

      Hi dolly

      I’m really sorry to hear what you are going through, I just wanted to say that no body ever deserves to be abused. You must remember that chick. You are not a drama queen and you certainly aren’t blowing things like that out of proportion. That’s just his way of justifying his actions and taking the blame away from the only person that is to blame – himself!
      I think having a diary and logging everything is a good thing to do, I started doing that a few months back. Sending you a big hug x

    • #10060
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      Hi Hun
      You got away once and you can do it again for sure
      Big hugs

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