This topic contains 8 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Autumnique 3 weeks, 4 days ago.

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  • #69244
     Autumnique 
    Participant

    I had been with him for (detail removed by moderator) months. I found out early on he had told alot of lies about his career and his personal life but because I felt like I had found my soulmate I forgave him. He had a very short fuse but not with me. However after an argument one night and he had been drinking he started hitting my head repeatedly that hard that I thought my skull was going to cave in I actually feared for my life.. Once again I forgave him. Then the accusations started I couldn’t go anywhere without him accept for work and then he would say I’m probably texting other men. He became jealous of my rescue dogs and my grown up sons and would say horrid things about them. He started showing sociapathic behavior… I work in(detail removed by Moderator)… To cut along story short (detail removed by moderator) I rang women’s aid and because he had no claim on my house I was told to lock the doors when he goes out and ring 101 to let them know.i am lucky as I had the support of my sons, family and work colleagues.. Which I only involved as a last resort. I am so relieved now to be just me and my rescue dogs again. Its not easy he’s still local so I’m still scared to go out on my own and he is currently playing the victim. The day before I left him I dared to take the dogs for a walk in his eyes I took them to meet a guy. And he’s telling people that’s why I left him. He’s deluded and thinks he’s the victim in this. Annoying!

  • #69255
     Tiffany 
    Participant

    Typical abuser reaction sadly. Have you gone no contact with him yet? That really helps. Also well done for getting him out. You absolutely did the right thing.

  • #69256
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi Autumnique, welcome to the forum 🤗
    You’ve done really well in getting him our of your house, it’s just about getting him out of your life totally now. You amongst most of us are qualified to diagnose your ex, thank goodness you saw what he was before it was too late.
    You know the truth of your relationship, let him spout his lies, you’re only feeding him when you try to tell people the truth. I agree with going no contact. Your sons know what he was like, your dogs know what he was like. People who know you, won’t believe his lies that you were seeing other men. Mine accuses me of sleeping with both sexes, then tells me he’s only teasing me. never knew I was so irresistible 🤣 I no longer try to defend myself, it’s a waste of energy. so in his eyes I’m doing something because I don’t defend myself. I no longer care!!
    Keep posting, your posts help others also.

    IWMB 💕💕

  • #69267
     freedomtochoose 
    Participant

    Hi there Autumnnique,
    Just to say how well you did (and are doing).
    Yes, would join with others to say typical abuser reaction (that you were going off with someone else).
    (Even if you were, (which I know you have said you are not) it would be none of his business anyway – it is your choice). Your choice to have friends, acquaintances, work colleagues…neighbours…your choice.

    Well done you for walking the dogs.

    Keep posting
    all best
    ftc
    x

  • #69289
     Autumnique 
    Participant

    Hi all thanks for your replies xx yes I have had no contact whatsoever with him and never will. My sons have also done the same. My eldest saw him  just to drop his things off to him so he has nothing at mine at all. He told my son I was stubborn and had done nothing wrong and I would come to my senses. He even inferred me and this son had inappropiate feelings for each other as he was so jealous cos we have always been close. Obviousky not to my sons face as my son would kill him….. One of the reasons I didn’t want my sons involved as didn’t want them getting into trouble. I have a diary appointment with the police soon. We have no mutual friends in fact he has very few friends as he’s a loner and always says he prefers it that way. He moves around the country has relationship after relationship I can gather. Luckily I fell out of love with him weeks ago… His constant accusations did that…. In his eyes every single guy in the world wanted me hahaha. I am so happy now just can’t wait till he moves away and I don’t risk bumping into him although I would call the police and my sons ASAP if he did. I am lucky cos I have many people who care and look out for me but atm still have to think twice before going anywhere on my own xx

  • #69296
     Apricotpoppy 
    Participant

    Hi Autumnique, well done for picking this up this up early and getting out. Be careful and observant. Do you know about Clares Law ? The police can release info about his past police history.
    Also be aware he may try and contact you with a very pitiful‘poor me ‘story which can pull at your heartstrings, or be extremely charming and apologetic. Sounds like you have got it covered though with the support of your family and the police!
    All the best x

  • #69310
     Autumnique 
    Participant

    Thanks Apricot Puppy. Yes I’ve been informed about clares law a few people have urged me to do it… I know he has a record… Scared of finding out something bad I guess. I’ve worked with challenging adults for a number of years so I have a bit of experience of this. Many years ago I was in the situation…. Could kick myself for getting into this again as always said I wouldn’t. I have no compassion for this guy so a sob story wouldn’t wash with me…. Hey look how brave and strong I’m being now I’m free!! I’m just so happy I got out when I did xx

  • #69313
     lover of no contact 
    Participant

    Hi and welcome Autumnique,

    You have done great to end the cycle of abuse you were in. I’m so glad you had such good support from your family and friends and now you have us.

    Yes he could have been goading your son into reacting to him so no matter what he says to goad you and your son don’t react to him. They love saying and doing things to get us react so pay his horrible words no attention. But its great you have gone No Contact so his negativity can’t enter your head and you can move on from him and soon he’ll be just an unpleasant memory.

  • #69320
     Autumnique 
    Participant

    Thanks for your kind words lonc I’ve just got the police to see for my diary appointment then I can start to live again.i sensibly wi be wary and alert for awhile as some of his sociapathic behaviour is quite scary and potentially dangerous xx

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