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    • #50590
      mylovemylife
      Participant

      Hi all, I’m a newbie here in the forums. But definitely not a newbie from my husband’s abuse. Im a victim of his mental and psychological torture and i have to stay with him so he won’t take away my son. Had to deal with it for awhile and wait for a miracle to come that he’ll just decide to let us go. 😢

    • #50591
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hi Hun

      Keep reaching out for support, maybe if u call the helpline they can refer u to agencies that could help u to make a plan where your son i snot taken off u, i know for myself i couldn’t leave either till my son would leave with me . I wasted so many years and had him exposed to abuse, if i could turn clocks back i would of reach for help and made a plan sooner

    • #50608
      Ayanna
      Participant

      He cannot hold you hostage.
      He is not omnipotent.
      Look for allies.
      (detail removed by moderator) That is the place with the strongest bond.

      You can leave and keep your child.
      If you have problems with immigration status contact European Migrant’s Network, Sisters Uncut and Rights of Women.

    • #50612
      KIP.
      Participant

      He’s never going to allow you to go. Never ever. You do not need his permission. Keep trying the helpline number on here. They can help you with a safety plan so that you can leave safely. These men are most dangerous when they think we are leaving. When they feel they are losing control. Being with an abuser we become used to needing their permission to do anything. You don’t.

    • #50647
      Malachite
      Participant

      If you leave a message for the helpline, they will ring you back fairly quickly (in my experience so far), they don’t say who they are until you confirm your name, and they’re super patient. They recommended Rights of Women to me for child-related worries (they also said to talk to a family solicitor). They seemed pretty certain that the dad can’t just automatically get full custody.
      You may also be able to find a local branch of WA, which may do drop in sessions? Or book a GP appointment.
      It’s not going to be easy, but he shouldn’t be able to take your child away. I agree with KIP, he’s not going to let you go if he’s anything like the man I know.

    • #50695
      mylovemylife
      Participant

      He just threatened me awhile ago to take away my child with a laugh and mentally tortured me again. He even attempted to hit me with a ball.. Saying “oh, are you scared?”

    • #50696
      Freedomfighter
      Participant

      Mylovemylife,
      I’ve been waiting nearly (detail removed by Moderator) decades for mine to agree. It’s never going to happen. I’m making my plans to leave with my younger son. He’s an adult now but suffers with mental health issues too because I waited so long. He’s lost 9stone in 2 1/2 years I’ve lost 5 in 11 months due to stress and ins . Reach out soon. I stayed because he kept telling me they’d never let me keep the boys as I was paranoid and mentally unstable. Said cruel things like the reason he was never home was because he believed one day he’d walk in and find I’d killed them and myself. At the time I was so scared he would take my boys away and have me put in a secure unit I kept quiet incase people thought I was paranoid. Logically that would make him a terrible father for always leaving them in my care. I doubt it will get better. I still catch myself hoping. I know deep down it never will. Contact the helpline and WA local group if you have one. They’ve been great with me. Good luck

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