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Hi all,
I have been in an abusive relationship for a few years now and just sick of it all and i want out but i feel trapped, lonely and smothered! Some of my friends just say to me;- just throw him out, but its not that easy! I get called names like mental, b***h, useless, he throws things and ends up breaking them sometimes (plates) and strouts at me, tries to force sex on me, uses the silent treatment, as almost control of the tv remote!!
He has been done by the policeonce for common ascult on me!! I have asked him to leave but he said i wouldnt survive on my own plus he has asked for (detail removed by moderator) for him to leave(the cheek). He has made threats like burn the house down, killing the plants in the garden, even to kill me!!
I dont have much faith in the police as i got wrongly arrested along with him nearly (detail removed by moderator) ago as he blamed ME for something HE had DONE HIMSELF (worst 24 hours of my life) dont wanna go back there again ( i get flahkbacks of it at times) I dont really wanna go into a refuge as i have a cat and dont want to be separed from her!! -
Hi, try talking to the domestic abuse unit at the police. They’re specially trained. I too was arrested for rubbish my ex made up. It’s how they intimidate you not to go to the police again. Contact your local woman’s aid for support and there the national domestic abuse helpline. Abusers use fear, obligation and guilt to control us. It’s not easy to leave or there would be no domestic abuse because we would all get out at the first sign but they are manipulators and good at it. You can’t do this safely alone so start to gather support and keep a secret journal of his behaviour. Threats to kill are taken extremely seriously by the domestic abuse unit, they know the danger these men are. I’d definitely talk to the police domestic abuse unit, there are powers they have to remove him and to give you protection x
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Welcome and well done for reaching out here. I’m sure you’ll find how helpful it is to connect with people who understand. I’m sure your friends mean well but of course it’s not as easy as to just leave or throw someone out or, like KIP said, domestic abuse wouldn’t exist.
You’re not alone. I agree with KIP that you should call the national domestic abuse helpline and your local women’s aid. They can talk you through your options and give you contacts for free legal advice.
I understand that you don’t want to be separated from your cat but it might be worth it for safety on the long run. There are charities who can take her temporarily. She will be happier when you’re both safe 😊
It sounds like you’re going through a huge ordeal. You’ve taken a big step posting here. You are on your way to freedom. Sending love to you and your a cat xxxx
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