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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  KIP. 3 weeks, 2 days ago.

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  • #103313
     Loxilou 
    Participant

    Morning

    I am new to the forum and also to abuse . I met my partner almost (detail removed by moderator) we moved in with each other (detail removed by moderator) before lockdown I thought for me this was it he was the one charming , loved my family , was good with my grandparents , the second week in it all changed , no help around the house , things would go missing even though I knew where I put them , he’d play mind games knowing I’d been cheated on before , phones upside down ,switched to silent , always on it , little comments here and there about my kids or me ,. We always had to be together an donthongs together , loads more things I don’t want to discuss at the moment , he’s never been physical ,apart from when he used to try an play fight ,Then how my friends weren’t friends , I started reading about narcissism and this is what made things wake me up .

    I ended the rship (detail removed by moderator) but am stuck living under the same roof as he made it a joint tenancy . He’s told everyone he can that I have mental health problems which I’m not . My son has aspergers an he is now trying to brainwash him to be on his side . Can anyone give me advice on what to say to housing to help me . I cannot live this way for much longer but due to my son I cannot go to a refuge or hostel or even temporary accommodation as he will not cope . Sorry I just had to get this all out .ive never met someone like this before . I know now that he has done this in every rship he has had an has made out they are all mental .

  • #103314
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Hi and well done for recognising these signs. Speak to your local police for advice on how to have him removed. Speak to your local women’s aid for support. The council have a duty to rehome victims of domestic abuse. This is the most dangerous time when ending a relationship so stress that you fear for your safety. You feel intimidated and scared. You have a vulnerable child who cannot be moved to temporary accommodation. That you’ve reported his behaviour to the police. He’s trying to discredit you so that when his behaviour is exposed he’s hoping he’s got in their first with his version of events. Tell the police he is emotionally abusing your son too. Talk to the landlord as they also have a duty of care. They may be able to remove his name and change the locks and have him removed from the property. Citizens advice and the national domestic abuse helpline are good sources too. Keep reaching out for help and meantime keep your phone on you aT all times and fully charged. His abuse will get worse as he’s loses control. Abuse often escalates after a major commitment when we are extra vulnerable. Like moving in together. He feels he has you more trapped and vulnerable so his abuse gets worse. Does your abuser have family he can go stay with? It might be worth reaching out to them. Stay safe, this is the most dangerous time and even if he hasnt been physically abusive this is the time these men can flip x

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