This topic contains 10 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  torpefy 6 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #71797
     Itwastimetostopit 
    Participant

    It’s been a lot of months since he left. He’s took a lot of his things but there’s still a lot here. He’s not got anywhere yet still with family.

    I want rid simple as.
    I have given notice for him to collect or I dispose of it.
    He just wants it all his way still as though he got right to use here as his storage.

    I just need to have guts to follow through.

    But now also worried it will cause trouble
    Anyone else had issues?

  • #71799
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Yep. My ex sent people round (detail removed by Moderator) different times and still left stuff. My advice is get rid of asap. It was difficult for me because he still owned half the house so the solicitor said but I should have ignored her and dumped all his belongings on a third party from day one. Pack it all up carefully taking photos or get a witness to back you up that nothing was damaged then get rid of. Get someone else to do it for you if it’s causing you problems. I promise once it’s all gone, after the initial anxiety, it will being a feeling of relief. One less thing for him to contact you over. One less excuse. One less thing to be anxious over.

  • #71800
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    I totally agree especially with taking photos that nothing has been damaged.
    I had a family member who stored her ex husband’s things for decades because he wouldn’t pay for it to be shipped. She put it up the loft, out of sight out of mind. Her’s was a civilised divorce though, no unnecessary contact, no animosity.
    My daughter packed up an ex boyfriend’s things because he wouldn’t come for it. She phoned his brother, told him it was outside in binbags, it was soon taken away. She did it with the help of a friend. By doing this, you’ve taking control of the situation.💪 💜 it won’t cause any more trouble,Maybe him shouting a bit,but that’s just him losing control isn’t it.
    💕💕

  • #71804
     Landy 
    Participant

    I’m finishing packing up his things his weekend and finding it so hard. He’s taken his dog and packing her stuff is even harder. I think you should do what you can to get him to collect h8a stuff. It makes it more final. I think that’s what I’m struggling with 🙁

  • #71810
     Itwastimetostopit 
    Participant

    I can’t really take it to him
    Told him third party collection but by his reply he not going to do that. But he’s not welcome he was (detail removed by Moderator) last time good job had friend here.

    I was going to just get skip and donate to charity.
    He’s took a load months ago what was clearly important. He even took all the dinner plates too. Took Tv even though kids here
    But expects me to ask as storage for rest

    House is rented in my name
    so no issues there.

  • #71812
     KIP. 
    Participant

    I would keep the evidence that you gave him the opportunity to collect it. That way he cannot claim you didn’t give him the chance to collect it. The Heart Foubdation will collect from your home.

  • #71815
     Itwastimetostopit 
    Participant

    Yeah I will be keeping emails

  • #71826
     Pasturesnew 
    Participant

    When my ex-husband walked out (ironically, although he was the abusive one, he left me and told anyone who would listen that he was the victim), he took clothes and other belongings, then came back when I was divorcing him and took other items. This was mutually agreed, I have to say. However, I got to the point where I just wanted rid of everything left in the house that had been a part of the marriage; I just wanted to start again. I emailed him to say I was ordering a skip and gave him the opportunity to come and get a few other things. He said he’d come when the house had sold. I didn’t respond to that but, now that the house has sold, I’ve gifted some items to friends, sold other things on eBay or have thrown things onto the skip I paid for. I don’t expect he’ll contact me to ask for anything. If he does, he’ll get short shrift.
    Definitely keep all evidence that you gave your partner the chance to come and collect. You are not a free-of-charge storage facility.

  • #71838
     Itwastimetostopit 
    Participant

    I feel I’m stuck in limbo waiting for him. It’s all in his hands

    I want to start doing things I want

    By end (detail removed by Moderator) he will of had (detail removed by Moderator) months notice

  • #71844
     maddog 
    Participant

    My ex left loads of stuff. I shoved his things in bin bags and put them in the garage. He’s had ample opportunity to collect his things, spent too much time in the house, has taken what he wants…

    When he left his first wife he brought little more with him than his sodding computer and a bag of clothes so I’m sure he’s got enough to wear.

    He’s taken everything he wants and I don’t want anything to do with the rest.

  • #71846
     torpefy 
    Participant

    This reminds me of my situation. You do end up playing the game. Fortunately I had a garage to store it in, but he had stored it so badly a lot of it was dirty/damp. He sent a forceful email when he realised it’s condition would be poor instructing me to clean it! Needless to say I didn’t!
    Just took photos and ensured I had a witness when third party collected. Multiple collections were arranged, id taken time of work, he wanted his parents to collect when they were here to see grandchildren. All twisted games.
    In reference to the comment where they one took the tv, I will always remember my ex demanding everything (fridge freezer/sofa/tv/you name it). He was told that was family property and stays for the benefit of the children. I know exactly what you mean though in terms of wanting to start fresh, I think if he needs everything so badly take it. We will be just fine with our freedom thank you.

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