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So it’s fastly approaching now; and I’ve already had a few weeks unable to sleep, think of nothing else and prep of course. I’m full of dread and anxiety about what will happen. I know I need to sleep and eat well to try and get myself in the best place, but I’m making myself ill with it.
How did you prep? I’ve got lots of worries, but one is, how will I sleep the night before? I feel like it’s highly unlikely I will sleep the night before and then I wont be able to function as I need to on the day. Will come across as a bumbling fool unable to string a sentence together.
I’m trying to tell myself what will be will be, but it’s not helping. Just want it over now, but need the outcome we need.
Any advice ladies?
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When the day comes you will cope. You know this is it the end off his abuse through your kid xx you’ve worked hard and this will pay off. I remember that final day when the case was under way all I could do was pray tbh – I said the Lord’s Prayer over and over in my head. I went alone and he had lots off support. But I thought you what I will show you how strong I am. I got what I needed that day for my girl – I ran down the steps off the court room and out into the crowds. I was exhilarated because I new We would never have to see or deal with him again xx and what a feeling !! Love diymum
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Imagine you’ve already won and go in with that attitude.
And absolutely let go of the outcome honey. It’s the only way to stay relaxed.Look at your case through the lenses of the law. That’s how the judge is going to take her decision. She is going to be loyal to the law. Sticking to the law doesn’t necessarily mean justice. So be very realistic of all possible outcomes, your lawyer will have probably informed you. Prepare yourself the best you can, it’s all you can do, the rest is out of your hands.
Then comes presentation. Time your speech well. Exercise it on front of loved ones (adults only of course). Should you stumble on your first couple of words, take a deep breath and tell yourself you are fine and continue talking. The key is to continue. Prepare every single line, have it written down to give yourself the confidence to continue whenever you get interrupted.
If you know you won’t sleep the night before, you might as well make it cosy for yourself. Prepare a few days ahead your documents, the clothes you’ll be wearing – ironed and ready – a water bottle, your nails done. Here you go, the practical side is out of the way.
Then for the night itself, drink chamomile tea, light up small lights ( not candles! In case you fall asleep) and make it cosy, prepare some movie or books if you’re able to concentrate.
For the wake-up, set your normal alarm but buy/ set an extra old fashion one just in case your phone fails.
Prepare your breakfast the night before. If you think you won’t be able to eat, prepare a fruit shake, it contains natural sugar and should hold your sugar levels up. The brain only needs sugar to function so also drink sport power-drinks.
Send your daughter somewhere you trust for a sleep-over to gain some peace and calm for yourself.
You might remember the night before an exam, well it’s the same. You’ll be more than fine the day after, your anxiety will be gone, you’ll be sharp, alert yet calm & confident.
Treat yourself to lots of sleep afterwards, take a nap, plan a lot of early nights of sleep to descend from all the adrenaline.Honey, you’ll be more than fine. You are an incredible intelligent and kind person, you’ll definitely come across as such on front of the judge, even if you are nervous now. Your message will come across as needed, count on it. You can simply rely on and fully trust in your beautiful mind and heart.
You’ve got this girl! 💪⚖️
Hugs 💕😘 -
So helpful HLJ! Yes this is what I need to do, and I think once Ive finsihed my prep, I will really be able to let go of the ‘outcome’, it will be in someone elses hands – amen to that. Thnaks for pointing this out to me – fits with where I am just now perfectly, was just what I needed to read.
I will buy the alarm for sure lol, good idea, my head can be thick and heavy in the mornings when I am stressed; and I’ll defo drink the tea and make a smoothie, yes I doubt I will be able to eat, but I will need to at some point so can take it with me, then sup on it when I’m waiting to go in and force it down if I have to.
Not thought about preparing closing speech. Sigh. I think I’ll make this just a few lines, just to express how I feel and that I feel everything has been said in my statement and evidence already. Short and sweet. I’ll think on about this, keep it in mind so it’s ready before hand if I am asked.
Going to dedicate the 4 days to exercise and eating well before hand too, so when my head hits the pillow I’ll be ready – thanks for this DM! Eased my anxieties a lot – gave me the answer I needed. You too HLJ, you’ve helped more than you can ever know. OK I’m starting to actually feel nearer to ready than not now.
Thank you all of you for your kind words and unwaivering support – it really does help doesn’t it. Love you ladies which seems mad to say when he have not even met but I know many of us feel the same – we just get it and one another dont we – solidarity is such a beautiful thing x
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Good luck Fizzy, we’ll be here waiting for you X*X
I don’t know what this will taste like but try putting some fresh ginger and honey in with the chamomile. That will help soothe your stomach too and maybe allow you to get some food inside you.
Huge hug x*x
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